So, something weird happened to me in the SUB today.
It started out the way it always does on Wednesdays: I bought my Wednesday’s Special burger (no pop, hold the mayo, sub for veg patty) at approximately 1:30 PM, then found a seat within earshot of The Burger Bar* so I could study for my calculus quiz while waiting for my food.
* Details provided just in case you wish to stalk me. Next week’s story could be about you!
After about 30 minutes, my number was called, so I left my table to go get my burger and put the fixings on it. Except someone stole the vinegar bottle again, so I had to wait for a new bottle to be put out.
While this was going on, I kept glancing back at my table to make sure no one was stealing my stuff, comprised mostly of one netbook, my water-damaged calculus textbook and my iPhone 3G with the broken home button that runs so slow i’d probably have to pay someone to steal it from me—and that’s when I noticed the security guard.
Problem: You are the proud owner of several mac products and a frequent shopper at Whole Foods. You feel like you have reached the ceiling of your proverbial pretentiousness. What’s your next move?
Solution: Combine your love for overpriced technology and overpriced food into the trifecta of pretentiousness: WholeFoods Market + iPad 2 + FaceTime!
The real reason my brother FaceTimed me in Whole Foods: He brought his iPad with him specifically so he could show our dad how FaceTime worked. Suffice to say, dad was impressed; When he was my brother’s age, there was no video conferencing from the grocery store to a family member back at home to check and see if you had the right brand of pasta sauce.
Pretentiousness aside, if you actually think about it, it’s kind of amazing that someone can have a video conference call over Wi-Fi in the middle of a grocery store with someone else anywhere in the world. Our generation often finds it frustrating and baffling that our parents struggle to understand the same technology that comes so natural to us, but if we actually stop to think about it, that’s because this stuff didn’t exist for the greater part of our parents’ lives.
Even though there is only five years difference between my brother and I, he cannot remember a time before the internet, while I can. Yet, I can’t remember a time before television, but my parents can. Years down the road when I have kids that are in their teens and twenties, what will the technology gap look like then?
“Remember how I was telling you about that thing called the Internet? Well, back in the year 2011 when your mom was in her twenties, she wrote stuff on this thing called a blog …”
“Mommy, what’s this brick thing?” … “Sweetie, its called an iPhone. I got this one in the year of 2009. It was the top-of-the-line smartphone at the time, touchscreen too!” … “What’s a smartphone?”
Forget the debate about whether or not leggings qualify as pants—this is all you really need to cover (pun intended) in order to wear leggings in a socially-acceptable, family-friendly way:
EDITED TO ADD: If you’re still confused about how to wear leggings, here is an example of how not to wear them: