The war on pseudo moths, Part III
Last night, a mosquito took advantage of me in my sleep.
He (because I unconsciously associate despised insects to the male gender) no doubt watched me sleep before deciding to strike—and just shortly before 3am, strike he did. Three times on my back and once on my cheek in fact. Bastard? I think so. Your sucker needle in my cheek was uncalled for.
In other fluttery creature news, my brother has found a new hobby: scaring living daylights out of me. It all started one sunny day not too long ago when we were out in the yard. I was taking pictures for layout ideas (incidentally, the header image of this layout was taken in this shoot) and he was… doing something else.
I should halt the progression of this tale to inform you that my fear strong dislike of moths is not limited to the ugly brown variety. As far as I’m concerned, anything even slightly resembling the moth is a moth. This, naturally, includes butterflies. They might be prettier than their night flying relatives, but they’re just as scary. And dangerous. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
So I’m minding my own business, looking through the lens of my camera and happily clicking away when I spot a white butterfly coming straight for me. Purely by natural instinct, I scream and duck. My brother laughs at my behavior. “You’re afraid of BUTTERFLIES?” He asked in tone only a younger brother can use when he has seen his older, fully grown sister duck and scream from something an mere two inches big.
I shoot him a nasty glare, but shake it off and go back to photographing things. Not too long after, I feel a fluttery sensation on my bare shoulder.
A fluttery sensation.
There is only one thing I associate to fluttery, and it starts with a big, ugly, brown ‘m’. This is not good.
Naturally, I let out a blood curling scream, jump to the side and turn around accusingly. I was ready to beat that butterfly into oblivion for using me as a landing pad, so imagine my surprise (and rapidly increasing anger) when the “butterfly” in question is actually a bamboo leaf being held by my treacherous brother, his face displaying a huge grin that suggested he found the whole situation amusing.
I was sorely tempted to sock him one.
You see, I have a very sensitive back. I’ve never had a back massage that didn’t cause me pure anguish. When people touch my back unnecessarily—particularly my spine—I get all skirmish and highly sensitized. The idea of something as disgusting and foul as a moth landing on my bare back is utterly revolting.
Of course, now that my brother has discovered this, he has been pseudo-moth attacking me at every given opportunity, and dammit to all, I can’t help but scream every single time. After having my room taken over by moths last summer and being attacked by several others a year later I am prepared for anything. The prospect that a seemingly innocent light fluttery sensation on my bare shoulder could, in fact, be a five inch month waiting to suck out my soul is not all that far fetched to me.
In other news, I’m buying an IKEA mosquito net canopy to go over my bed as soon as the workers at the closest IKEA decide to end their strike and go back to work. I’m done with being molested in my sleep or getting up at ungodly hours of the night to kick moths out of my room in fear of accidentally swallowing them or something.
So moths? Bring it, bitches.
(Just wait until I get the mosquito net first)
Version 4.0: Knock on Wood
New design up. Header image features the shingles on our roof and the tagline (“Knock on Wood”) is one of my favorite play on words, what with my last name being Wood and all.
Chef-in-training
Suddenly spurred on by my change in dietary habits, I have recently taken up a great deal of time in the kitchen cooking full course meals and less-than-healthy desserts for people other than myself. As a result, there is a new section in the features: recipes!
It’s that time of year again
The closing of summer is quite possibly my favorite to part of the year. It represents the wrapping up of another summer filled with life lessons and adventures, some learned and some not. It tells me that stability and normality—in the form of structured school obligations and extracurricular activities—is drawing near. It signifies another opportunity for a new start, the soon beginning of the academic year. It represents the end of carelessness and the start of the real world.
Quite frankly? The closer another academic year comes, the more excited I get.
I almost crave new workload and new scenery (hello rain!).. I like summer, but it leaves me feeling a bit lost. Summer in Vancouver is, to say the least, one of the most temporary things we experience. Temporary hardly satisfies me. Vacation travelling and summer plans are just so… fleeting. Here one day, finished the next. Great, but not lasting.
Maybe it’s my inner uptight workaholic making an appearance, but people who seem so carefree and stupid annoy me. At least during the academic year they’re bitching and moaning about school and/or work (my inner sadist chuckles over this), but during the summer they appear to have absolutely nothing better to do than to act like inconsiderate, immature assholes and do downright pointless stuff, then giggle and grin when recounting the tale(s) to me. Trust me: If there is one person on earth who seriously doesn’t care how fast and reckless you can drive and won’t be impressed when you tell when you tell me anyway, it’s me – so STFU.
Closely approaching September signifies a time of change for me. A time to change my room, my sleeping habits (along with the rest of my bad habits), my wardrobe, my attitude… and my diet.
To some extent, I believe that you are what you eat. I’ve experimented with different diets (not the weight loss kinds) within the vegetarian realm and you’d be surprised at how different I would feel with each one. Personally I always feel so much better on a mostly raw, vegan, mostly unprocessed, minimal wheat and sugar diet. Dairy (cheese especially) feels like a dead weight in me—it makes me feel sluggish and slow. Sugar is like a drug to me (and if it is was a drug, would make me a relapsing drug addict) – I love it, but I feel like shit after I have too much of it. It sort of follows a “get high, then crash and burn” pattern. I’ve never enjoyed caffeine.
So I’ve decided to change a couple things. For the next two weeks I’m trying a vegetarian low GI (glycemic index) diet. After reading a book on GI diets, I’ve come to realize that my current diet (80% bread, potato, rice, soy, and pasta, 10% fat, 5% sugar, 5% other) explains a lot about my weight gain (especially around the waist and arms), energy levels and appetite (always hungry within 1-2 hours of eating even the biggest meal). I’m hoping this new way of eating will regulate these factors.
Next, I’m upping my water intake. My goal is to drink 6-8 glasses a day and I’m keeping a 1/2 litre bottle of water (with a hint of lemon, of course) on my desk and by my side at all times to help this along. Water aids in the body’s natural detoxing process, as well as keeping you hydrated in the summer and a whole bunch of other good things that escape my mind at the moment.
I’m also getting to sleep earlier. No more 12, 1 or 2am nights mornings. I’m aiming for lights off by 11pm, but knowing me and my long struggling fight in the war against sleepy days and high energy evenings, this could be my hardest change. It’s also one of the changes that will have the biggest impact – when I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t do anything.
An increase in exercise is next on the menu. Because eating a low-GI diet calls of the use of a lot of foods I don’t normally stock, I will be walking to the grocery store each morning to buy my day’s supply of food, and only that day’s supply. Because my food market is two to four blocks away and i’ll only be shopping for that day, I can actually do this.
I also plan on doing hot yoga (bikram yoga) with Marissa sometime soon. Hot yoga involves doing crazy yoga positions in a room heated to about 105 Fahrenheit with about 40% humidity. I’m thinking this is like doing yoga in Florida on the beach at 3pm in middle of July. However insane it sounds, it’s suppose to be incredibly good for you. You sweat buckets and therefore get rid of toxins, increase in flexibility, relax, etc. There are far more benefits, and you read about those here.
I will also (probably) be running more, what with my dance schedule slowing down and all. Less dance = no huge blisters and open wounds around the back of my feet and heels, which invariably means I can wear something other than flip flops again!
Along with the change of diet, I also have a new haircut, a new planner (my old one, considered as important and vital to my wellbeing as my mind, expired), some new clothes and new shoes (I am bargain shopper extraordinare!) and some new academic year resolutions in the making. You could consider this my academic new year preparations.
It’s almost September and I couldn’t be more thrilled.
KFC in Looeyville
Over the breakfast table
Louisville, Kentucky
Mom, reading the city guide: (Surprised) “Hey, Kentucky Fried Chicken started here!”
For the past week I’ve been in Kentucky—Louisville, Kentucky to be exact. If you think visitors mispronounce your city’s name upon arrival, imagine what happens in a place where even the locals all pronounce it differently. Looval, Loouhval, Looeyville, Looville, and for those who haven’t yet learned that the ’s’ is generally regarded as silent, Louisville.
… And I thought I had a name easily screwed up.