CHANELWOOD.COM - The internet domain of Chanel. Quirky commentary on life, book reviews, movie reviews, articles on fashion, photography portfolio and more.

I’m back from Salt Lake City, 500+ pictures taken and all.

Going to this year’s anniversary convention (aptly named “XanGo Invasion”) really reaffirmed my love for this company. Besides the announcement that we hit 1 billion in sales (second fastest company to ever hit the 1 billion mark) in less than five years and the unveiling of XanGo TV, it really solidified the idea that XanGo isn’t just a company or a product; It’s a charitable lifestyle that extends all over the world.

[You learn more about the company and its projects at the following sites: XanGo, XanGo's philanthropic movement, XanGo Goodness, XanGo's 5th Anniversary Convention, XanGo Invasion]

I’ve kept the pictures under the cut, mainly because anyone without high speed will probably faint at the size and quantity of the photos. So without further ado…

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If you’ve ever seen The View (an American talk show) or somehow know of the back drama behind it, you should find this lolcat understandably hilarious.

Take-off waiting line on the runway at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. (Click photo for full version)

I’m off to Salt Lake City! If you’re the stalker type and live in the general vicinity, feel free to hunt me down. Otherwise, see y’all on the 29th.

Despite this being my website, using my name and serving as a shrine of narcissism a place where I can write and publish things related and of interest to me, I still find it fairly difficult to talk directly about my life. Sometimes It’s about my dog, or about my on-going fights with the mothfia, or sometimes even about the ridiculous things my mother says, but there are only three entries on record that directly talk about my life.

This entry makes four.

First of all, I’d like to thank everyone who sent well-wishing emails or left comments in regards to my eye problem. I’m happy to inform y’all that it’s 100% better – no swelling, no chalazion, nothing. It healed just in time to allow my attendance at a cocktail party for a family friend’s sister’s gallery exhibition opening and a East Indian wedding reception over the weekend.

Secondly, you should probably notice that there is a new layout. (F5 for a hard refresh if you don’t see it!) I’m rather fond of the mod colors and style, but a little unsure about the header image. As always, comments and suggestions are welcomed. Also, you might notice a new page: The archives. (The page documenting this website, previously named “website”, has been renamed to “colophon” but the location remains the same.)

This week is going to be hectic, and it doesn’t even have to be Monday yet for me to be able to tell you that. I’m flying out first thing Wednesday morning to Salt Lake City, Utah for my company’s annual anniversary convention and before then I need to:

• Find a costume for the dance party. I’m not looking to snag any prizes, but I need to follow with this year’s theme: “futureland” – i.e., stuff from the future. This rules out being Minnie Mouse or a vampire, which have been my costumes of choice for the last several years. Any costume ideas? The only thing I can think of is cat woman.
• Take (and re-study for) two chapter tests.
• Submit my Bio, Chem, and Math assignments.
• Do some secretarial work with our team, which includes but is not limited to: emailing 150+ people, rewriting our introductory letter, send out account and login information to at least 100 people and send two other people the information the specifically requested.
• Do laundry and pack my suitcase.

In addition to all that, I also have the ever illusive midterm deadline coming up on the 29th. I fly home on the 28th, which leaves putting all the work off until last minute an absolute no-no. So between now and the 29th, I need to find the time to:

• Complete & submit four Planning assignments
• Complete & submit two Math assignments
• Complete & submit two Bio & Chem assignments
• Finish up any leftover English work, which includes poetry analyzation, something that is right up there on my “things I’d rather burp up slugs than do” list.

There you have it, folks! All the stuff you never needed to know. However, since some of you requested I follow up this entry about certain changes I was making in my life back then, I figure now is a good time as any to give a follow up report.

Lights out and sleeping by 11pm was a complete and utter failure. If anything, between now and then, my late nights have gotten later – 1, 2, and sometimes even 3 am. I still want to go to bed earlier and I’m still going to keep trying (just like I have for the last how many years of my life) but I don’t this will be happening anytime too soon.

The GI diet was a great success. I didn’t lose any significant weight (which I was hoping for, but not expecting – I didn’t slay all the desserts out of my diet) but it did change the way (and what) I eat. My dairy consumption has gone way, way down, almost to the point of being completely diary-free. I’ve been eating a lot of whole grains (less rice, more Quinoa and Bulgar wheat – I even made a dish and published the recipe on here) and low-GI vegetables and fruits. It also taught me a lot more about nutrition and how successful diets work.

Upping the water intake went very well, although in recent weeks it has been on the decline. I found taking eight glasses a day to be no problem at all – with the amount of activity and busyness in my life, my body really needed it (and craved it, even).

Exercise has been going well, and is on the increase – My dog is proving to be an excellent motivator by whining and nagging me into taking him out every day. With dance every week (and the newfound discovery of gel heel protectors, which means NO MORE OPEN WOUNDS!) and other general movements (walking here and there, running for the bus, running after people, running to the stores, walking up stairs etc.), I think I’m getting a fairly good amount of exercise in, but I’d still like to do a lot more. I’m also planning on running a lot more, and with more intensity. I’ve got to get back on my running plan!

Oh, and I’ve yet to try the hot yoga (no time!) but I’m still planning on doing that soon too.

So that’s the update. Apart from being leered at ALL NIGHT by some guy at least five years my senior at the wedding reception last night, nothing particularly interesting has been happening lately – and even then, that incident was more “I think I’m going to sick”, borderline “I want to punch him in the face”. I know the typical “I’m so busy, I even made a list!” blog entries are dreadfully boring, so consider this a filler entry until something heart-stopping and earth-shattering happens.

(Err, on second though, I take that back. Considering how I’m going to be flying soon, I really hope nothing heart-stopping and earth-shattering (or plane shattering) happens until I’m safely back on the ground at home.)

Fate has horrid, horrid taste in humor.

You see, this week and the next were supposed to be my "work really hard" weeks. With midterms coming up at the end of the month and work taking a whole new more intense, more organized level of my time, I had so perfectly planned to be chained to my desk for at least 90% of this week’s daylight hours. Guess what happened?

I got an eye infection. My body is pissed off at me. I pushed it to the limits last weekend when I worked unearthly hours, and now my body is acting out. It’s angry. And now, because I couldn’t stop poking the cyst at every given moment, I’m stuck looking absolutely sexy with one eye swollen halfway shut, amusing myself by periodically draining the cyst with my favorite pair of tweezers and lots and lots kleenex.

Too much information? Too bad. (For what it’s worth though, it really is amusing – perhaps even the highlight of my day.)

ETA: Since y’all wish to see photos and there is no way in hell I’m posting one of *me*, I decided to provide you with an alternative visual companion: see this photo. While it isn’t of me, it gives you a pretty good idea of what it looks like, only imagine the central point of swelling to be right in the very corner of the upper inner eyelid. If you’re even more curious to find out more, you can read this on Chalazions.

Last month I brought you the Aye-Aye. This month, I bring you… the Cicada!

Feel free to stare in horror for as long as you’d like.

I know y’all have good reasons for forcing us to collect 87 days worth of garbage in our garages and keeping us locked out of our libraries, city golf clubs, cemeteries and community centers, but enough is enough.

Go back to work.

Love,
Chanel

PS – We only have so many freezers. BODIES NEED TO BE BURIED.

Last month on Craigslist.com, someone who described herself as a “spectacularly beautiful” 25-year-old placed a personal ad seeking a husband who made at least $500,000 a year, because “$250,000 won’t get me to Central Park West.”

As her post hit the blogs, it received a scathing response from a man who said he fit her description and told her that her proposition was a bad business deal. “In economic terms, you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset,” he wrote, because “your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity.”

(Taken from the New York Times)

Her Ad: What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200- 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics – bars, restaurants, gyms

– What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

– Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

His Response:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Can you say ‘owned‘?

I love his rather useful suggestion towards the end of the reply: “By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.” Wise words well spoken.

Actually, if you really look at her “proposition”, she isn’t merely just a depreciating asset; she’s a liability. Not all people agree with this, but author Robert Kiyosaki redefined the definition of assets and liabilities in his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, stating that “assets are anything that generate money … liabilities are anything that consume money.”

Gold-diggers? Definitely liabilities.

Let this serve as a stellar exemplary warning to all gold-diggers and women wanting to marry for money—they’re getting smarter. Just so you know.

Is it just me, or have material donation incentives given out by representing charities and non-profit organizations become far more common in the last 10 years?

You know you’ve seen it, probably even donated money for it… A dollar for a blue silicon bracelet with an inspirational “stop prostate cancer” saying… A cute pink pen for donating a minimum of two dollars to stop breast cancer… A heart-shaped pin with a child’s drawing engraved in it for donating to children’s charities… Baring your boobies (or donating money to see said pictures) to raise money for breast cancer research…

All those organizations could have saved the money spent on producing such promotional “thank you for donating” material and put it towards their cause. Why is it that these organizations think we need to get stuff in return to “do the right thing”? I’d be perfectly happy donating to a good cause without getting anything in return. At the very least, they could send a mass heartfelt thank you email out to all donators. Why go to such lengths?

Have we become so material-orientated that we are less inclined to donate to a cause or organization if they have nothing to “offer” us? And if not, then why do these organizations seem to have this impression? Don’t tell me it’s a way of saying “thank you” to its donators – I don’t believe that for a second. It might be partially true, but I highly doubt that is the total and complete reason.

I understand that most people are naturally drawn to “stuff”, and as a result will probably be more motivated to donate if they are given something in return, but personally I think the money spent on little “thank you” materials could be better used somewhere else, even if it turns out to be a small and relatively insignificant amount. There are other less expensive ways of promoting and advocating the donation of money to worthy causes.

To be honest, if anything, organizations that offer such materials make me suspicious and doubtful of their claims. How do I really know my money donated isn’t going towards something other than the cause itself? In many cases, they often do not tell you that a portion of the proceed goes towards the actual cause. A portion? A portion of a dollar?

Yeah, that’s sure going to change the world.

I hate being so pessimistic and negative, but in this day and age, believing everything you are told and taking everything for face value makes you a fool. Does it help you sleep better at night knowing you’ve done your part to help discover a cure for breast cancer by giving them a dollar and getting a silly bracelet in return? (And don’t even get me started on the direction “a cure for cancer” is heading, or how corrupted the BCCA is in terms of pushing drugs and unnatural means, downplaying natural remedies as possible means to a cure!)

I think the old-fashioned way was the best. If you want to make a difference in this world and actually do something, forget going through glitzy promotional 3rd party organizations. Want to help starving people in 3rd world countries? Get out there and do it yourself, or really do your research and help fund a genuine, committed person or organization of persons to do it.

I believe Margaret Mead, an anthropologist, scientist and intellectual said it best when she said “Never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Out of curiosity, I have to wonder: Would you donate money to a cause or organization if you got nothing back in return? Do materialistic incentives such as pens, bracelets, etc. actually motivate you to give back, or would less tangible things such as a report about how your money is being used be sufficient?

You’re driving along a street, fretting over all the things you need to be done today. Traffic starts to slow down, eventually taking the pace of a crawl. You start to get agitated. Why now? You’ve got things to do, places to be! You see flashing lights ahead, and suddenly it dawns on you: there is an accident ahead. How do you feel?

When it’s your turn to pass by the crash scene, do you crane your neck to see what’s going on, or do you avert your gaze and ignore the scene completely? If you’re one of those people who look every time, what do you hope to see? Wreckage? Triggered airbags? Blood? Dead bodies?

Why are we so fascinated with the “bad” stuff?

It’s the same thing with accidents-to-be. Some people close their eyes, or turn away, but other just stare wide-eyed, frozen, often wanting, willing too look away, but unable to do so. It’s like seeing two trains on the same track, heading straight towards each other. There is something magnetic about disasters that keep so many of us just glued. It’s not that they entertains us, amuses us, or that we even like them—It’s just that, well, we can’t pull away.

For some, it’s the TV coverage on disasters like 9/11 or Hurricane Katrina that we can’t seem to tear away from. It appalls us, grieves us, makes us sick to our stomaches, but we don’t (or can’t) stop watching.

We cling to every heartbreaking clip, every shocking picture, and every nauseating piece of news, forcing ourselves to sit through a blow-by-blow account of what happened, what is happening, and the implications of everything that has happened thus far. It leaves us feeling sad, sick, angry, upset, and every other conceivable negative emotion, and yet we still watch.

We could keep ourselves informed of such disasters through non-descriptive newsfeeds sans the multimedia, but instead, we choose the form that envelopes us in the horror.

Why?

For me, my morbid fascination is airline crashes. It is most puzzling to me because up until a few years ago, I was terrified of flying. Now, years later, I’m… not. I love planes, airports, security checkpoints (that’s another story all in itself), and landings. I also love researching plane crashes, strange and unexplainable plane issues and disasters (ever heard of that Hawaiian flight between Islands that had the top half of the plane—the roof—ripped out mid-flight? Everyone except one flight attendant survived) and watching Mayday.

I think having a couple pilots as friends and acquaintances helped a great deal. That, and just getting up there and flying; when you’re in a plane every couple months, the whole ordeal becomes routine procedure quickly, much like driving. However, after reading about the statistics on plane crashes and learning that the majority of complications occur during take off and landing, I still find myself a tad nervous during accent and decent. Why do I subject myself to useless knowledge? I choke it up to an insatiably curious nature: I must know everything, even if the newfound knowledge has a negative impact on me. Knowing which airlines have had crashes and which have not, or looking up videos/pictures/investigation notes from those crashes is essentially “useless” knowledge, but I pursue it anyway.

So, I ask you: Why do you think people are oddly fascinated with morbid things? Do you have any morbid fascinations? If so, what are they?