5 Reasons why Twilight sucked
Before I begin, let me preface this by saying that I actually had hopes for this movie. Even though I did not enjoy the books, I felt that Twilight was the kind of story that would make a better movie than a book; and it would have, had the following not gone all wrong…
1. The acting
It was more than bad. It was awful. Most of the characters seemed so awkward with each other, like they had all been thrown together on a high saturation set with a script and told to just act it out. Edward and Bella seemed to have zero chemistry (just like the book) and were awkward around each other all the time, even when they should have been more comfortable.
Charlie and Jacob’s dad (Billy, was it?) were the two best acted parts in the movie. I thought that Charlie’s relationship with Bella was believable, true to the book (from what I can remember) and just awkward enough to fit the background. And, he was funny, in a sort of a passive way.
2. The dialogue
I’m not even sure where to get started on this one, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie that has had such awful, choppy, awkward, inexperienced dialogue such as this one. I thought vampires were supposed to have smooth, melodic voices that flowed like honey? Instead, what you get is short bursts of crammed dialogue followed by long awkward pauses. Nothing flows, even when it’s supposed to. Instead, you get this: “Iknowwhatyouare” (in one breath) [pause pause pause] “whatami, (in one breath) bella?”
3. The facial expressions
Edward: Most of the time, he looked (and spoke) like he had a large stick up his ass.
Bella: Has this girl never had a happy moment in her life? She claims to be in love with Edward, and the last time I checked, when you’re in love with someone, they generally make you happy. Why is it then that Bella NEVER CRACKS A SMILE throughout the ENTIRE MOVIE? I understand danger befalls you constantly and you live in a small town that would make anyone want to kill themselves, but girlfriend’s gotta lighten up a bit!
Bubblegum disco
In about half an hour, I will be heading to the mall (a place I haven’t been in maybe, two months?) wearing this outfit (note the pink!) to see The Best Friend (a girl I also haven’t seen in two months) to pay 11 bucks to see a movie that primarily attracts screaming 13 year olds.
It’s like high school all over again!
The Starbucks Delusion
I know I literally write about this at least once or twice a year, but it is ASTOUNDING how much I can get done if I really start my day before 9, 10, or 11 am.
Normally, I prefer to wake up later and just work later into the evening, but this getting up early and not being dead tired (a result of going to bed earlier the previous night) really is quite appealing. I’ve been meaning to make the switchover from night owl to One Of Those Adult People, and now I may have just stumbled on newfound motivation to do so.
On a somewhat related but mostly unrelated note…
This morning I got up at A Respectable Adult Hour, dropped my brother off at school in North Vancouver and came home, stopping at the Granville skytrain station on my way back to grab a grande steamed soy with hazelnut from Starbucks. Normally I don’t really indulge in such things, but since I was freezing and it was still a ways home, I indulged.
You know, I felt so trendy, walking the streets of downtown Vancouver with a Starbucks drink in hand. Waiting at every pedestrian crossing, I was surrounded by sharply dressed individuals all off on their morning routines. They had gotten up early too! They were trendy and well dressed too! They were all enjoying their hot morning beverages too! I was one of them! I was trendy too!
Well, okay… Honestly? Maybe I was mostly trendy. I might have forgotten to comb my hair or put on make up that morning, and there was a good possibility I was not wearing Burberry and Armani like the rest of my streetwalking companions—I might have left the house in an oversized red University of Arkansas sweater and brown sneakers that clashed with everything else I was wearing. Maybe.
Hey, it was fun while it lasted!
A not so merry christmas photo
If only I could describe to you the picture of chaos that was going on before, during, and after the shooting of this photo. I’ve mentioned Winkey’s affinity for public displays of aggressiveness towards other dogs before, but this was truly the first time his antics have taken place against the backdrop of, “FREE DOG PHOTO WITH SANTA WITH DONATION TO ANIMAL SHELTER!”
Even Santa was a little afraid, and that overweight dude slides himself down chimneys every year.
Fire in the sky
Over the weekend, we got some funny weather. It started with heavy rain (that sounded from inside like it was going to break down the windows) and turned into something a whole lot more beautiful…
A rainbow!
And then the sky caught on fire.
Lazy and ridiculous
Here’s a definition of lazy and ridiculous for you: sharing a light bulb between two lamps because there are no more unused light bulbs in the house, and you haven’t gotten around to buying more.
(Brother enters bedroom, sits on bed)
“Hey, I need you to tell me what chocolates you want. The orders need to be in by tomorrow.”
“Yeah, sure. Just hold on a sec…”
(Chanel walks over to desk, unscrews light bulb from—)
“—What are you doing?”
“Getting us light so I can see”
(Brother gives me crazy looks, doubts my sanity)
“Okay then…”
That’s right, folks. Twice a day, I unscrew light bulbs. I unscrew the light bulb from the lamp on my bedside table (used for reading, the night before) and screw it into the lamp on my desk when I need to work. Then, 12 hours later, I unscrew the light bulb from desk lamp and screw it back into the lamp on my bedside table when I want to read. The next morning, the routine repeats itself.
And you thought you were bad.
Et Il a mangé le bébé!
I’m going to be honest here: I am not one of those people who enjoys sitting through videos of children doing so-called “cute” things. Most of the time, I just don’t find it as cute as other people seem to. I’m not sure what it is—maybe they have to be related to me to activate that particular maternal gene?
Having said that, this little French girl by the name of Capucine is just so adorable it melts my icy heart and I can’t stop watching this video. So watch it, especially if you’re like me. And stay until at least 1:51, because that has to be the cutest expression I have ever seen.
There is a reason I post this here, by the way. So watch it and then keep reading.
Selfless love
The other day, I was talking to a friend about relationships and dating.
“You know, sometimes I just find this whole thing so depressing,” I said. “There is always a catch to the good ones, you never have any attraction or chemistry with the ones who are perfect for you, and then there are those who want you but are no good for you—where are the ones who are just as good for you as you are for them?”
“Taken,” He replied. “Taken by girls who don’t deserve them.”
Have you ever wondered why this appears to be?
Most women, at some point in their lives, have made The List. The List, for those who aren’t familiar with the term, is a list of things a woman wants in a man. Smart, good-looking, hard working, sociable, wealthy, influential, drives a nice car, has shiny teeth—whatever is on it, The List varies from woman to woman, but they all have one, either in their heads or on paper.
A couple months after my 16th birthday, my parents gave me a purple notebook. I still have it today. I entitled it “Chanel’s handbook for life”, and in it, I made lots of lists. I made one on the person I would like to be, my priorities in life (and what they should actually be), the perfect way to balance my time and energy, goals I want to achieve in my lifetime, things I want to do in my lifetime, life lessons I have learned, things I need to change, etc. etc. And then I made The List.
Tight squeeze, cool breeze, now you’ve got the shiveries!
“And where are you from?”
“Vancouver, BC… in Canada”
“Oh, Canada! This must be warm for you.”
“Well actually…”
The lady with the skirt
This was spotted among the other bizarre sights on our road trip to Salt Lake City. Am I the only one who finds this really strange, and maybe a little funny?
(Other info of note: It was windy, and pieces of hay kept flying out and hitting our windshield as the horse was taking chunks out of it to eat. And then my mother commented on how, from behind, this horse’s behind looked like the behind of a fat women who’s skirt was blowing the wind.)
