A not so merry christmas photo
If only I could describe to you the picture of chaos that was going on before, during, and after the shooting of this photo. I’ve mentioned Winkey’s affinity for public displays of aggressiveness towards other dogs before, but this was truly the first time his antics have taken place against the backdrop of, “FREE DOG PHOTO WITH SANTA WITH DONATION TO ANIMAL SHELTER!”
Even Santa was a little afraid, and that overweight dude slides himself down chimneys every year.
Fire in the sky
Over the weekend, we got some funny weather. It started with heavy rain (that sounded from inside like it was going to break down the windows) and turned into something a whole lot more beautiful…
A rainbow!
And then the sky caught on fire.
Lazy and ridiculous
Here’s a definition of lazy and ridiculous for you: sharing a light bulb between two lamps because there are no more unused light bulbs in the house, and you haven’t gotten around to buying more.
(Brother enters bedroom, sits on bed)
“Hey, I need you to tell me what chocolates you want. The orders need to be in by tomorrow.”
“Yeah, sure. Just hold on a sec…”
(Chanel walks over to desk, unscrews light bulb from—)
“—What are you doing?”
“Getting us light so I can see”
(Brother gives me crazy looks, doubts my sanity)
“Okay then…”
That’s right, folks. Twice a day, I unscrew light bulbs. I unscrew the light bulb from the lamp on my bedside table (used for reading, the night before) and screw it into the lamp on my desk when I need to work. Then, 12 hours later, I unscrew the light bulb from desk lamp and screw it back into the lamp on my bedside table when I want to read. The next morning, the routine repeats itself.
And you thought you were bad.
Et Il a mangé le bébé!
I’m going to be honest here: I am not one of those people who enjoys sitting through videos of children doing so-called “cute” things. Most of the time, I just don’t find it as cute as other people seem to. I’m not sure what it is—maybe they have to be related to me to activate that particular maternal gene?
Having said that, this little French girl by the name of Capucine is just so adorable it melts my icy heart and I can’t stop watching this video. So watch it, especially if you’re like me. And stay until at least 1:51, because that has to be the cutest expression I have ever seen.
There is a reason I post this here, by the way. So watch it and then keep reading.
Selfless love
The other day, I was talking to a friend about relationships and dating.
“You know, sometimes I just find this whole thing so depressing,” I said. “There is always a catch to the good ones, you never have any attraction or chemistry with the ones who are perfect for you, and then there are those who want you but are no good for you—where are the ones who are just as good for you as you are for them?”
“Taken,” He replied. “Taken by girls who don’t deserve them.”
Have you ever wondered why this appears to be?
Most women, at some point in their lives, have made The List. The List, for those who aren’t familiar with the term, is a list of things a woman wants in a man. Smart, good-looking, hard working, sociable, wealthy, influential, drives a nice car, has shiny teeth—whatever is on it, The List varies from woman to woman, but they all have one, either in their heads or on paper.
A couple months after my 16th birthday, my parents gave me a purple notebook. I still have it today. I entitled it “Chanel’s handbook for life”, and in it, I made lots of lists. I made one on the person I would like to be, my priorities in life (and what they should actually be), the perfect way to balance my time and energy, goals I want to achieve in my lifetime, things I want to do in my lifetime, life lessons I have learned, things I need to change, etc. etc. And then I made The List.
Tight squeeze, cool breeze, now you’ve got the shiveries!
“And where are you from?”
“Vancouver, BC… in Canada”
“Oh, Canada! This must be warm for you.”
“Well actually…”
The lady with the skirt
This was spotted among the other bizarre sights on our road trip to Salt Lake City. Am I the only one who finds this really strange, and maybe a little funny?
(Other info of note: It was windy, and pieces of hay kept flying out and hitting our windshield as the horse was taking chunks out of it to eat. And then my mother commented on how, from behind, this horse’s behind looked like the behind of a fat women who’s skirt was blowing the wind.)
Cleaning out the engine sludge
- Answer more questions in “yes” or “no”; less “maybe”.
- Stop unnecessarily explaining yourself.
- Get your inboxes down to zero (currently: 1497 in gmail; over 2500+ in hotmail).
- Unsubscribe to all e-newsletters and “junk” email lists.
- Clean your desk, throw away unnecessary papers.
- Return emails and calls within 24 hours.
- Put every last stray file in your computer away where it belongs.
- Get things done when the come to your attention; not “later”.
- Tidy often instead of deep cleaning infrequently. It’s less work for you.
- Stop making excuses. Be honest about being a lazy ass.
- Make your workspace look like a workspace, and not a victim of hurricane.
- GET TO SLEEP BEFORE MIDNIGHT.
Red, yellow, orange
There are some crazy colors going on outside right now.
Chanel: Now older
Sneaking away my dog from me, smuggling a bouquet of balloons into the basement, tying them to Winkey’s collar and then surprising me by asking me to call the dog—bright colored birthday balloons bounding behind him—has quite possibly been the cutest birthday surprise I’ve ever gotten.
