Day 255: Grace In Small Things
- FINALLY, for the first time since I turned 16 (!), getting perceived for my actual age (if not older), instead of 2-3 years younger.
- Feeling confident because of what I’m wearing. (Blue opaque tights, black/grey dress from XII, black pointy-toe faux sued boots and my new trench coat.)
- Watching The Beauty and the Beast for the first time since I first watched (if I ever did, I can’t remember) .. which had to be when it came out, over ten years ago! Its odd, because I feel like that the Disney movies I grew up on are ageless; its weird to think they didn’t exist before the 1990s, and weird to think they’re already 10-20 years old!
- Feeling the Cinderella syndrome, but enjoying the feeling of being miserable. (I am such a masochist.)
- Eating in bed.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 254: Grace In Small Things
- Getting down to business with Mathematics; which, oddly enough, I missed. Someone call the head doctor.
- Settling back into the grove of things. Its always so unsettling when I’m away from home.
- Putting stuff away; unpacking less than a week since I came back home! A new record?
- Catching up with emails, facebook, feeds, calls, etc. And not wanting to die.
- Slowing down for a blissful Sabbath evening.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 253: Grace In Small Things
- Picking up new math texts. Yay!
- Getting a chance to wear some of my new stuff somewhere.
- The book Superfreakonomics – Its really interesting!
- Collapsing into an empty house, vowing never to leave again. (I really love my home.)
- Having a very understanding English professor.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 252: Grace In Small Things
- Driving beside that huge lake in Oregon. Gorgeous.
- Tumbleweeds!!!! … Especially when they flew up and smashed into the windshield of our car.
- Crazy snowstorms at night + black ice on the higher elevations.
- Shoe shopping in Portland for my brother via the phone (he’s at home) while 5 guys at Champs attempt to help me find & describe the shoes hes talking about.
- Forever 21 / XII. Do I need to say more?
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 251: Grace In Small Things
- Purchasing my first ever trench coat.
- Driving back through the middle of nowhere.
- Burning CDs in the car so we can listen to music off my hard drive.
- Michael Buble’s voice.
- Pizza from some decrepit Little Ceaser’s located in an Idaho Kmart.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 250: Grace In Small Things
- Veggie hot dogs with all the fixings (including saurkraut!) … from an all-vegetarian hot dog stand! (City dogs in Salt Lake City, Utah)
- Exceedingly delicious coconut curry on brown rice with veggie chicken and vegetables.
- Stealing stickers from abandoned windows.
- Napping in the car during the day, waking up when its DARK outside (!)
- Shopping at Target!
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 249: Grace In Small Things
- Finally getting into the Mormon tabernacle to hear the Mormon tabernacle choir, instead of being late and ending up in the overflow room.
- Spending several hours in bed doing nothing. (Except eating chocolates.)
- When you hold meaningful eye contact with a person for longer than average.
- Making friends from Hawaii.
- Deserted streets late at night.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 248: Grace In Small Things
- Cute Mormon boys.
- Being able to sit back, relax, and not fret.
- Feeling a bit more like I belong here.
- Doug Wead. He is, hands down, the best public speaker I have ever heard.
- Having one of the most amazing nights of my life, going to a high-octane soccer game (my first!) with the rest of XanGo nation, madly cheering for Real Salt Lake.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 247: Grace In Small Things
- Cute little suites.
- Getting dressed up. Sort of.
- Not being in a car for the first time in 15 hours.
- Exceedingly delicious Indian food.
- Talking on the phone in stairwells.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 246: Grace In Small Things
- Watching the skies, all the way from the east to the west, as the sun rises.
- Beautiful, beautiful country scenery.
- Making delicious avocado basil and tomato sandwiches, in the car.
- Having an American cell phone number!
- Sleeping horizontal for the first time in 24+ hours.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 245: Grace In Small Things
- Midnight border crossings.
- Late night grocery/food shopping at Haggens.
- Getting out of the house (the biggest obstacle to a road trip).
- Having my dark plum IKEA comforter anywhere I go.
- Insulation.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Car accident paparazzi
4:15PM: This just happened.
Day 244: Grace In Small Things
- Taking a break from nonstop school to work on my business.
- Finally booking my much-put-off road test!
- Freshly laundered bed sheets.
- Erasing things off my Things To Do whiteboard.
- Those increasingly rare times when I get to talk to the friends I love.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 243: Grace In Small Things
- Planning outfits for a trip.
- Getting a decently early start to the day.
- Good food that turns your day around.
- Soygood Creamy Vanilla Ice Cream. Its so good!
- Watching DWTS with my dad.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 242: Grace In Small Things
- Writing difficult emails.
- Sushi with fried tofu!
- Remembering to work out.
- The ultra clean, space-y feeling you get after flossing.
- Working Sundays
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 241: Grace In Small Things
- Being invited over for lunch.
- Finding a respectful sort of appreciation for something you never appreciated before.
- The beauty of nature.
- Tomato-based casseroles. And just casseroles in general.
- Being protected, even if you can’t see it.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 240: Grace In Small Things
- Studying in the library.
- Being surrounded by people and still feeling completely alone (and enjoying the feeling).
- Walking into the first Forever 21 store in Vancouver (!!)
- Wandering and reminiscing.
- Accepting.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Tables, turned.
I have a confession to make: I used to think people who didn’t know what they were going to do with their lives were poor, confused deadbeats. Having always been someone with a plan, I have often had a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that someone can be so clueless about their future as to not know what they’re going to do with the rest of their life.
Tonight I realized that I have no idea what I am going to do with the rest of my life.
(I can see it now: God is chuckling.)
I have many possibilities in mind; even a general sense. But as for a straightforward direction, or a specific plan? Nada. There are many things I’d like to pursue, but they’re scattered in every direction. For the one I want to pursue the most, “1 in 100 actually make enough money to not starve doing that” seems like the biggest problem.
(I might be highly unmaterialistic, but you won’t catch me signing up for starvation.)
I suppose if all else fails, I can always become a professional golddigger.
Something tells me the next year will prove to be rather interesting.
Day 239: Grace In Small Things
- Not exploding from stress.
- Admiring how late I can possibly stay up.
- Getting past the midweek hump.
- Losing yourself while you play an instrument.
- Accepting.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 238: Grace In Small Things
- Ending something, starting something.
- Trigonometry refreshers.
- A good day’s work.
- Not feeling like a failure.
- Autumn.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 237: Grace In Small Things
- Getting over it.
- Learning to deal with setbacks.
- Quiet.
- Reflection.
- A odd sort of satisfaction from the deepest of pits.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 236: Grace In Small Things
- Trigonometry. Not as bad as it sounds.
- The “off” day before the “on” day; as long as you understand how your off and on days work and correspond to each other, you can play your potential setbacks to your advantage.
- The pain of loved ones from your past now being the warm fuzzy feeling.
- Inhaling a good lung full of cold fresh air.
- Family.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 235: Grace In Small Things
- Discovering you suddenly have some useful connections.
- Thanksgiving dinner with the family and friends.
- Having someone to help with cooking and dishes.
- Someone from the past who brings back memories from 12+ years ago.
- Compliments on my cooking.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 234: Grace In Small Things
- Having the event I guiltily dreaded play out to be 110% better than I thought it would.
- Bonding with someone in my church I see all the time but never talk to.
- Not collapsing into a reclusive ball of depression when I received bad news that added my already enormous pile of stress.
- Putting my skills and stronger points to work in what I do best (in this came, damage control).
- Having dinner taken care of for me.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 233: Grace In Small Things
- Getting to those school emails I’ve been pretending don’t exist.
- Kickass twist on my familiar lasagna dish that becomes a huge hit.
- Talking on the phone until 1am. How very 16 of me! (and how rare of an occasion.)
- Having great friends who understand my oddities.
- Midnight cookies and (soy)milk snack.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 232: Grace In Small Things
- Studying at the library, listening to classical music as I write an argumentative essay about something I actually feel passionate about, surrounded by other people who studying, and occassionally glancing outside where I have a spectacular view of the breathtaking autumn grounds below.
- Living in a city where a library—in the middle of a city—can have a gorgeous park right beside it.
- Being surrounded by thousands of books. There is nothing more exciting.
- Finding a current affair worth writing three pages about.
- Metrotown, and the odd feelings of foreign and familiar in it.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 231: Grace In Small Things
- Being used in two Standard demonstrations in class. Eep!
- Being social and outgoing without effort.
- Old faces, new faces … and not dreaded to see either.
- The familiar warm rub of something that happens at the same time every year; the memories of the past, the excitement of what’s to come, and the secure fuzzy feeling of familiarity.
- The way my heart skips a beat whenever I drive into that campus.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 230: Grace In Small Things
- Mending fragile relationships.
- Reinstating the whiteboard (which is actually silver) as a gigantic to-do list. At the very least, it looks really nice on my desk!
- Getting a much-dreaded, much-procrastinated essay over and done with!
- Seeing my aunt return to her home after over six months in hospital.
- IKEA food What more can I say? There ain’t anything they can’t do.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 229: Grace In Small Things
- The amazing way I feel better after I’ve cleaned my room, because of both the work I’ve done and the now clean space.
- Finishing the much-procrastinated developing countries project for Socials.
- The beautiful full moon hanging in the sky.
- Chocolate.
- Family time.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 228: Grace In Small Things
- Playing the piano in the rehab ward at UBC Hospital, and having the patients nearby (whom I didn’t even know where listening!) come up and thank me for playing afterwards. Such a simple thing, but I cannot recall a time when I have felt more useful or meaningful. It seemed like it made them so happy!
- Going out for a walk with my dog and getting followed by another dog, which ended with me running a block into the (thankfully!) nearby vet office to try to get someone to take the dog and call its owner.
- This amazing sunset.
- Shooting hoops with the brother.
- Spending Sabbath the way I imagine it was designed to be spent: feeling rested in appreciating the beauty of nature, spending time with family and doing good things for others.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
To neverland
I have always had a thing for planes.
My first flight—or what I consider my first flight—was the one I took in first grade, to Disneyland. Anyone who knows me even remotely well will know it’s no secret that I consider Disneyland the most amazing place on earth—but at the tender age of five, it was nothing short of absolutely magical.
I was there for four days, and as soon as I left, I wanted to go back. One thing I distinctly remember about my childhood was how the airplane became an iconic symbol for Disneyland, because I always associated planes with my first flight; the flight that led me straight to the enchanted, animated alternate universe where age nor time existed.
For years after that, whenever I would spot a plane streaking across the sky, I would drop whatever I was doing and follow it into the horizon until I couldn’t see it anymore. In that moment—just me, the sky and the plane—my imagination took me back through years of memories to those four magical days I spent in the most amazing place on earth.
It was one of my favorite things to do.
I wish I still got that tingly, stomach flipping feeling whenever I saw a plane in the sky.
Eventually I began flying on a regular basis. At certain points, I was flying somewhere different every month, and although flying never lost its charm (airports terminals are still among my favorite places), I learned to associate planes to things other than my favorite childhood memory.
Sometimes, I wish I could still look at the world the way my five year old self did.
Day 227: Grace In Small Things
- Rediscovering one of my favorite childhood shows, The Nanny.
- Powdered Milo, straight up.
- Talking to friends again.
- My glorious, multi-uses bed.
- Laundry at midnight.
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.
Day 226: Grace In Small Things
- Feeling the creative design bunnies.
- Working out a decent plan for a redesign.
- Spending the day in bed.
- Taking photos with my new lens.
- Making it home for Vampire Diaries. (The jury’s still out on this show.)
Wage a battle against embitterment and take part in Grace In Small Things.