So, something weird happened to me in the SUB today.

It started out the way it always does on Wednesdays: I bought my Wednesday’s Special burger (no pop, hold the mayo, sub for veg patty) at approximately 1:30 PM, then found a seat within earshot of The Burger Bar* so I could study for my calculus quiz while waiting for my food.

* Details provided just in case you wish to stalk me. Next week’s story could be about you!

After about 30 minutes, my number was called, so I left my table to go get my burger and put the fixings on it. Except someone stole the vinegar bottle again, so I had to wait for a new bottle to be put out.

While this was going on, I kept glancing back at my table to make sure no one was stealing my stuff, comprised mostly of one netbook, my water-damaged calculus textbook and my iPhone 3G with the broken home button that runs so slow i’d probably have to pay someone to steal it from me—and that’s when I noticed the security guard.

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So, it’s obviously been a long time since I last wrote something there.

Like, not-since-last-year kind of long.

Instead of writing one of those long-winded* posts bad bloggers always seem hand out after a hiatus—you know, the ones that typically follow the standard format of “excuse, excuse, excuse, more excuses, I WILL NOW BLOG EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH TO PROVE MY LOYALTY TO YOU!”—I will instead proceed to list out a couple things I did instead of writing here that have furthered my quest to become more awesome.

* Who are we kidding! Every time I write here it gets long-winded, and this will be no exception; Just like in real life, online Chanel just can’t seem to shut up.

Here we go…

I learned how to drive and passed my road test.

Really, this picture pretty much sums up the entire experience:

(For those not familiar with the B.C. driving system, when you first get your license you are a learner and are required to display a red L sign on your car. When you pass your road test (and can drive without a supervisor), you get your N. You have to take another road test in 2 years to get rid of your N.)

Unfortunately, this wasn’t nearly as exciting for everyone else as it was for me, seeing as most of my friends have “been there, done that” oh, about five years ago. Learning how to drive (in order to pass my road test) has probably been my most procrastinated to-do item ever, with my bedroom renovations coming in as a close second (more on this later). Evidence:

• In 2006, I was old enough to apply for my license.
• In 2008, I finally decided to get my learner’s license. I drove once in an empty parking lot and ran into a tree.
• In the beginning of 2010, I made it a resolution (Operation: Drive) to learn how to drive. I took one lesson which went amazing and then got lazy to finish them.
• In 2010, my learner’s license expired, along with my youth.
• In 2011, I took driving lessons and passed my road test on the first try within the span of 3 months.

What can I say? I age slowly. Something that takes most people a year has taken me about five years. I wish I could tell you this trend stops here, but it doesn’t. Mock me now, but we’ll see who gets the last laugh when you need adult diapers and I’m still making it to the bathroom in time.

I voted for the first time ever.

Not nearly as impressive when you consider I’ve been able to vote for the last three years but didn’t.

I got straight A+s in my 2nd semester of college.

The most unfortunate part about this statement is that saying “I got straight A+’s” does not roll off the tongue nearly as well as “I got straight A’s”. #firstworldproblems.

Granted, I only took three courses—the minimum required to be a full-time student at my college. Will I be able to reproduce this when I take my sciences and specialized psych courses next semester? Probably not.* But i’ll always remember that one glorious semester in my first year where I was the smartest person in my class, because let’s be honest: It’s pretty much all downhill from here.

* I wouldn’t be able to afford the therapy bills if I tried.

I went to my first Canucks game.

… And have absolutely zero pictures to show for it, because I uploaded them to a netbook that I put somewhere in this house and can no longer find. Does this happen to other people? No? Alright then. Back to the topic on hand…

This relatively new-ish development, a year in the making, (me being a crazed hockey nerd – screaming at the tv, reading up on players, lurking on hockey forums) is something i’ll likely touch on at a later point, because sometimes even I can’t believe I actually watch and follow a PROFESSIONAL SPORT. But the Canucks and these Stanley Cup Playoffs have been my new crack cocaine*.

* Purely metaphorical. I would like to state for the record that I have never tried crack cocaine before. IT WAS JUST ICING SUGAR, I SWEAR!

If we’re friends on Facebook, or if you follow me on Twitter or Tumblr: I’m sorry. (But not really.) And I’m sure you know why.

For those who don’t: My social media accounts have all pretty much become hockey central on game days and the days between game days (If you’re following the math, that would make them hockey central everyday.) I think I’m fairly well justified in my overzealousness, however, seeing as this is the first Stanley Cup final I’ve ever been a part of, and may well be (PLEASE LORD) the first Stanley cup championship this team has ever seen in its 40 years as a team.

(Incidentally, you can follow all the Canucks-related videos, photos, links and posts I find interesting on my tumblr here.)

For those of you who have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about:

Oh yeah, and one last thing:

Time to bring that baby home.

(I’m done now, I promise.)

I started renovations on my bedroom.

At the beginning of 2010, I made a resolution to renovate my bedroom that year. It was called Operation: Bedroom Overhaul.

I started Operation: Bedroom Overhaul in the summer of 2010. A year later, I am still sleeping in a bedroom with no desk, no nightstand, minimal clothes and plywood floors. A bedroom renovation that takes a year to complete? This, combined with the sum total number of years it took me to learn how to drive should probably qualify me for the title of World’s Best Procrastinator.

At this rate, the finishing touches should be done in the summer of 2023! Look for the before and after photos then!

(Kidding. I’m getting the room measured out for flooring this weekend. It should be done by 2015, easily.)

I got sick for a month.

… With some mysterious illness that went undiagnosed because I am scared of needles and didn’t want to see a doctor / GET STABBED IN THE ARM AND BE ROBBED OF MY LIFE-GIVING BLOOD (what they call a ‘blood test’).

Part of the healing process was giving up sugar and dairy in hopes my immune system would strengthen. What really made the difference was when I started eating a lot more raw foods – making my own fresh green shakes in the morning, juicing carrots to make carrot juice as a pick-me-up in the afternoon, that sort of thing. I eventually cured myself with age-old, time-tested routine: lots of sleep (before midnight), lots of water, proper diet, no sugar, no dairy.

If you ever want a new lease on life, you should try being sick for a month and then get healthy again. Everything is AWESOME! and BEAUTIFUL! and EXCITING! It feels good to live again! FREE HUGS FOR EVERYONE!

And lastly, I redesigned this website.

… About five hundred times before I finally decided to post new content.

If you’re reading this post in a feed reader, you might want to click through and check it out. Aside from the design, I’ve also integrated a tumblr for my photography: Photos by Chanel. This is separate from my tumblr for everything else, which can be found here: Things Chanel Likes. Both of these are seamlessly integrated into the design of this website, so you don’t have to open them in new tabs.

It’s been a long time coming, but I’m excited to get back to blogging!

Further proof college is awesome: I got to hold a cockroach at school!

I even have a card of certification to prove my participation in this monumental event.

Before I agreed to hold said cockroach, I made The Keeper of The Cockroaches sign a blood pact with me that basically stated that the minute I started freaking out, she’d take the cockroach away from me. If you ever plan on handling insects, by the way, NEVER SKIP THIS STEP.

Holding an insect is not like holding your neighborhood cat or chicken. If at any point during the holding experience you decide you no longer wish to have this cat or chicken in your arms, you simply release and they are no longer on your person.

(Incidentally, I speak from experience here: I was once was peer-pressured into holding a chicken by a group of ten year olds. I couldn’t tell you who was more relieved once that experience was over; the chicken or The Chicken.)

Insects, on the other hand, are hard to shake. Literally. Of course, being about a million times bigger and stronger than your average insect does give you some advantages, but short of flicking said insect off of your appendage(s), they generally won’t leave you (no matter how much you shake, scream and squirm) unless they feel it is safer to be off you than on you.

Trust me, I know this stuff. Until you have a maggot fall out of the sky, down your shirt and into your bra, you are not an expert on the level of difficulty involved in getting an insect off of you in a timely manner. But, that’s a story for another time.

Today’s lesson: Cockroaches! Not so awful when they are smaller than the size of your hand and voluntarily handled in a controlled situation!