Chanel’s definitive guide for getting dressed in the morning: Leggings edition
Forget the debate about whether or not leggings qualify as pants—this is all you really need to cover (pun intended) in order to wear leggings in a socially-acceptable, family-friendly way:
EDITED TO ADD: If you’re still confused about how to wear leggings, here is an example of how not to wear them:
Alternatively titled, The Post In Which All Five of Chanel’s Remaining Twilight Readers Unsubscribe, A Totally Unbiased Review Of One Of The Worst Second Installments Ever.
Last year, I gave you five reasons why Twilight sucked. Since then, the Twilight franchise has rolled out a second installment to their first cash cow, this one entitled “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” for all five of the dumbest people in North America who have been living under a rock with poor wireless reception. (I say ‘North America’ because I’m pretty sure people in other continents have better things to do than follow the updates of a fictional girl forced to choose between necrophilia and bestiality.)
Before I begin, let me preface this by saying that I actually had hopes for this movie. Even though I did not enjoy the books, I felt that Twilight was the kind of story that would make a better movie than a book; and it would have, had the following not gone all wrong…
1. The acting
It was more than bad. It was awful. Most of the characters seemed so awkward with each other, like they had all been thrown together on a high saturation set with a script and told to just act it out. Edward and Bella seemed to have zero chemistry (just like the book) and were awkward around each other all the time, even when they should have been more comfortable.
Charlie and Jacob’s dad (Billy, was it?) were the two best acted parts in the movie. I thought that Charlie’s relationship with Bella was believable, true to the book (from what I can remember) and just awkward enough to fit the background. And, he was funny, in a sort of a passive way.
2. The dialogue
I’m not even sure where to get started on this one, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie that has had such awful, choppy, awkward, inexperienced dialogue such as this one. I thought vampires were supposed to have smooth, melodic voices that flowed like honey? Instead, what you get is short bursts of crammed dialogue followed by long awkward pauses. Nothing flows, even when it’s supposed to. Instead, you get this: “Iknowwhatyouare” (in one breath) [pause pause pause] “whatami, (in one breath) bella?”
3. The facial expressions
Edward: Most of the time, he looked (and spoke) like he had a large stick up his ass.
Bella: Has this girl never had a happy moment in her life? She claims to be in love with Edward, and the last time I checked, when you’re in love with someone, they generally make you happy. Why is it then that Bella NEVER CRACKS A SMILE throughout the ENTIRE MOVIE? I understand danger befalls you constantly and you live in a small town that would make anyone want to kill themselves, but girlfriend’s gotta lighten up a bit!
