VANCOUVER, BC—The local dog community is left speachless over the sudden arrest of a Mr. Winkey Wood.
Wood, former head of the K-dog mafia, was caught red-pawed today at approximately 13:30 after he stole multiple carrots from his homestay family’s kitchen and proceeded to eat them in their living room, right on the family’s persian carpet.
“I don’t know where I raised him wrong!” Wood’s mother said in a tearful interview with Modern Dog. “He was always so into meat! Why CARROTS? Where did I go wrong?! Next thing you know he’ll be calling me from prison and telling me he’s GAY!”
“It was quite a sight” Admits the daughter. “He never showed any signs of a vegetable addiction.”
Exclusive to chanelwood.com, we managed to get the official mugshot from Wood’s booking officer “Atos”, a giant Schnauzer. Wood (pictured right) had a solemn look on his face as he was carted off to the slammer.
“Strange little thing,” The booking officer said when asked about Wood. “Didn’t say much, only whined like a little girl.”
Speaking of girls, Wood’s long-time love interest, a pretty West Highland Terrier, was available for comment. “What kind of respectable dog eats carrots? Not just eat, but I saw the humans luring him in with fresh carrots—and he came.” She said, appalled. “I’ve never seen something so shocking before. Don’t rabbits eat carrots?”
Upon hearing the Terrier’s comment, Wood’s mother promptly burst into tears. She is currently at VGH where officials there say she is suffering from a mental breakdown.
Wood was not available for comment.
Rofl. My dog hates carrots. Haha. Don’t quite know why, but that was an amusing read xD
Reply: Haha thanks :)
Funny thing – my rabbit hates carrots (she won’t eat them) but apparently my dog loves them. Tell me there isn’t some sort of role reversal going on here!
I hate veggies. Wood can eat my carrots anytime! :D
hahahaha! that was funny, downright amusing! your write well. :D
i can’t imagine my dog eating carrots… he’s a german shepherd. he’s more like a give-me-my-steak kind of guy. lol
Reply: Thanks! :D
Winkey is a what we fondly call a “reject”. A fellow dog-owner friend of ours once came over with RAW MEAT (What kind of dog turns down raw meat?) and my dog just sniffed it and walked away with his nose upturned. He is weird like that. :P
That was great. Perfect thing to read to distract me from work. Also wanted to mention, I have 3 cats, and we sometimes put food down for them, and they like a variety of weird things.
More notably, one time we put down some cooked hamburger meat with cheese on top (don’t ask) they ate the cheese and left the meat.
I guess animals like weird things just like humans.
[...] to me, I still find it fairly difficult to talk directly about my life. Sometimes It’s about my dog, or about my on-going fights with the mothfia, or sometimes even about the ridiculous things my [...]
[...] and regular readers are warned to be careful: In 2007, he was publicly charged with grand theft of a vegetable item. Previous to that, he was trialled for murder (“THE CROW HAD IT COMING!”, Wood claimed) [...]
Lol, my Black Lab absolutely LOVES carrots! I’m very surprised to hear another dog that does, this is a first =) We give them to him as treats.