The war on pseudo moths, Part III
August 25th, 2007Last night, a mosquito took advantage of me in my sleep.
He (because I unconsciously associate despised insects to the male gender) no doubt watched me sleep before deciding to strike—and just shortly before 3am, strike he did. Three times on my back and once on my cheek in fact. Bastard? I think so. Your sucker needle in my cheek was uncalled for.
In other fluttery creature news, my brother has found a new hobby: scaring living daylights out of me. It all started one sunny day not too long ago when we were out in the yard. I was taking pictures for layout ideas (incidentally, the header image of this layout was taken in this shoot) and he was… doing something else.
I should halt the progression of this tale to inform you that my fear strong dislike of moths is not limited to the ugly brown variety. As far as I’m concerned, anything even slightly resembling the moth is a moth. This, naturally, includes butterflies. They might be prettier than their night flying relatives, but they’re just as scary. And dangerous. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
So I’m minding my own business, looking through the lens of my camera and happily clicking away when I spot a white butterfly coming straight for me. Purely by natural instinct, I scream and duck. My brother laughs at my behavior. “You’re afraid of BUTTERFLIES?” He asked in tone only a younger brother can use when he has seen his older, fully grown sister duck and scream from something an mere two inches big.
I shoot him a nasty glare, but shake it off and go back to photographing things. Not too long after, I feel a fluttery sensation on my bare shoulder.
A fluttery sensation.
There is only one thing I associate to fluttery, and it starts with a big, ugly, brown ‘m’. This is not good.
Naturally, I let out a blood curling scream, jump to the side and turn around accusingly. I was ready to beat that butterfly into oblivion for using me as a landing pad, so imagine my surprise (and rapidly increasing anger) when the “butterfly” in question is actually a bamboo leaf being held by my treacherous brother, his face displaying a huge grin that suggested he found the whole situation amusing.
I was sorely tempted to sock him one.
You see, I have a very sensitive back. I’ve never had a back massage that didn’t cause me pure anguish. When people touch my back unnecessarily—particularly my spine—I get all skirmish and highly sensitized. The idea of something as disgusting and foul as a moth landing on my bare back is utterly revolting.
Of course, now that my brother has discovered this, he has been pseudo-moth attacking me at every given opportunity, and dammit to all, I can’t help but scream every single time. After having my room taken over by moths last summer and being attacked by several others a year later I am prepared for anything. The prospect that a seemingly innocent light fluttery sensation on my bare shoulder could, in fact, be a five inch month waiting to suck out my soul is not all that far fetched to me.
In other news, I’m buying an IKEA mosquito net canopy to go over my bed as soon as the workers at the closest IKEA decide to end their strike and go back to work. I’m done with being molested in my sleep or getting up at ungodly hours of the night to kick moths out of my room in fear of accidentally swallowing them or something.
So moths? Bring it, bitches.
(Just wait until I get the mosquito net first)
Only female mosquitos bite, but I can’t blame you for assuming it was male!
August 26th, 2007 at 12:31 amI had a mosquito canopy once… I thought it was such hot shit. >_>
August 26th, 2007 at 3:27 am*facepalm*
August 26th, 2007 at 3:28 amI love butterflies but moths are just creepy =P Younger brothers can be really annoying, I know.
August 26th, 2007 at 6:53 amI really, really do hate those mosquito critters. Especially the ones that are like 10 ft tall and lurk in dark corners waiting to pounce.
August 26th, 2007 at 3:19 pmLOL @ Nellie’s comment.
August 26th, 2007 at 4:57 pmI agree, moths are ew. I just slap them and kill ‘em though. :P
Eeeh, I hate moths. I think I’m scared of them too, hahaha.
Btw, featured you on my blog for Blog Day 2007! :D
August 31st, 2007 at 4:01 amWhat’s this? A Vancouverite?! Finally someone I can talk about the weather with!
I kid. But we’re lucky to be getting some sun in the last few glimpses of summer.
I’m terrified of moth. I’m terrified of bugs. I’m terrified of butterflies, bees, mosquitoes, flies, wasps, even HUMMINGBIRDS.
Over the last five years or so, I finally worked up the courage to squash those minatures flying annoyances that zoom through the window mesh. They’re small, but still terrifying.
September 1st, 2007 at 10:20 pmDid I mention how nice it is to have someone who shares my antagonism and inconveniences because of the city-wide strike?!
I’m growing more attached by the second.
Reply: OH MY GOSH I KNOW, ME TOO! What is it now? 43 days? Have you seen the line-up at the North Van garbage dump? Last I heard the waiting time to get into the dump was like 2 hours. It seems like there are so many places on strike around this city right now. Now all we need is for Translink to stop operating, causing our entire city to shut down and the universe to self-implode.
September 1st, 2007 at 10:23 pm