I came, I saw, I talked on the phone
This just in: Contrary to what you might believe, talking on the phone will not kill you.
Me and the phone have a hate/hate relationship. You see, I’ve always avoided talking on the phone with most (read: 99.9%) people. It’s awkward and weird. You can’t see the person’s expressions. There are uncomfortable pauses. You might run out of things to say. I also get somewhat nervous when I’m about to call someone, especially if I have no particular reason for doing so (i.e. “just for a chat”).
I can make conversation in real life, but on the phone? No. Because chats about the weather don’t go over as well when the other person isn’t in the same vicinity as you.
“Lovely weather today, eh?”
“… Did you call me just to say that?”
So maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. I can make conversation over the phone, but it’s usually forced and my brain is always in “must think about what I’m going to say next” mode. I’ve even written down lists of possible conversational material before calling someone. Yes, a list of possible conversation material. Always prepared for the worst, I am.
However, as of lately, it’s become apparent that my fear of talking on the phone is holding me back. My occupation requires lots of phone calls, and my network’s growth has been somewhat hindered (though I have tried my best to delegate the task of phone conversations off to my mother) because of it. Simply put? I need to get over it. It’s a “suck it up, princess!” fear.
I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t like talking on the phone. Why is that? I mean, really… What makes it so different from talking to people “in person”, face to face (don’t even get me started on webcams – that’s for a whole other entry), or over IM?
Of course, being the ever-prepared person I am, I’ve already developed a plan of action to conquer and dominate this irrational sillyness head on. I’m going to force-dive myself into this phone business and bring out my list of people I should have called months ago. Clients. Friends. Clients. Clients. Clients. Dear god. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger!
This stepping out of your comfort zone stuff ain’t easy, but it isn’t as bad as I thought. I’ve already started on The Plan and called a few clients. Surprisingly, the world did not stop spinning and my head did not explode. It went well. Very well, actually, and the fact that I survived the experience to blog about it says it all. I’m alive, aren’t I?
Yay, congratulations on finally stepping out of your comfort zone. :D
Like you, I usually tend to avoid talking on the phone. I have no idea why, I guess I just don’t like talking on the phone. I also don’t like answering the phone, the only time I do that is when there’s no one else around to pick up the phone.
Good luck with the next batch of calls you’re going to make!
November 5th, 2007 at 2:37 amGood for you for facing your fears and not letting them freeze you!
I used to be like you, but then I thought “hey, they can’t see me when I call them. What’s there to fear?”. So I now prefer to call over the phone than to move my ass out of the house if I need to do something that can easily be done over the phone. Phones are a great invention.
I must say I admire you over planning “conversational material”. I would never take the effort to do that.
November 5th, 2007 at 2:50 amTo me there are some people who I have labelled “phone people”; people who I can talk great with on the phone. I have a friend or two who I don’t mind at all just chatting away on the phone. But there are others who the phone is purely a tool to communicate temporarily, where conversation involves stating where you are and when to meet up etc. Maybe because I’m used to talking to those people via other media (e.g. real life, online).
As for talking with strangers, eh, I get self-conscious… I feel like I’m always stumbling over my words. But it’s definitely something that seems to get better with practice!
November 5th, 2007 at 2:55 amThe phone is not my favourite method of conversation and I rarely have long talks on it. I prefer to text so much more.
Basically, if you are on the phone there is usually an annoying background noise and if you are ringing a house phone then I have a habit of starting talking and the person is all “who is it” and I am like “Jane” and they all “Okay, I will get the person you are meant to be talking too”, since people sound so different on the phone.
However, I don’t have a phobia of talking on the phone like many people. As you said it is one of those things you just have to suck up and get on with, but once you have done it, it really isn’t that hard.
November 5th, 2007 at 2:38 pmI used to absolutely HATE talking on the phone. Once I started dating a guy and he always wanted to be on the phone with me but we constantly ran out of things to talk about, but he insisted on me “saying something, anything” so I made a three page list of things to talk about when he called. I found it recently and I laughed, but back then, it was absolutely necessary, although it didn’t always work.
Then I worked for over a year at a job that required a LOT of client interaction both in person and over the phone, and at first I avoided the phone at all cost. I could ring and ring and I’d just walk by pass it ignoring it. Then I was told that I HAD to pick it up, and eventually I got over it. After a couple of months it became really fun, actually. I even made “phone friends”, where clients would always call and ask for me, greet me, ask how things were going and some old lady even called me to give me “love advice” once in a while. The point? The awkward feeling goes away after a while, and you can be surprised of how much you actually like that you ran away from before.
Just like your “stepping out of your comfort zone” blog said :)
November 5th, 2007 at 2:53 pmI know you will get completely used to very soon!
I hate talking on the phone, too. I’m always worried about what my voice sounds like (weird, no doubt). But I think it’s easier when I have a clear message I need to convey, as in a business-type call.
November 5th, 2007 at 7:01 pmThat’s right, face your fears head on! Most people aren’t willing to do that, but hopefully, the fact that you’re alive and can attest to facing your fears will help some other people get over their’s.
I try to avoid using the phone when it’s not necessary. It just hikes up the phone bill or sucks up my minutes.
November 5th, 2007 at 7:10 pmI used to be the queen of phone avoidance. As others have said, a job in customer service that involves a lot of phone conversation gets you over the fear of phones pretty quick.
I used to do the whole “write a list of things to say prior to calling” thing, but now I just pick up the phone and dial without a second thought.
Still sucks though when the owner of the company calls the store and catches you off guard … :D But I’ve learned to stay on my toes!
That’s awesome that you’re recognizing your fears and pushing yourself to get over them.
November 6th, 2007 at 12:01 pmChanel,
I have the same problem about calling people on the phone. In my work I need to deal with a lot of people to get information to complete my projects. I tend to use e-mail more than I should. I don’t know why it’s such an issue for me, but it is. It could be a confidence thing. When you e-mail back and forth you have time to develop your thoughts or develop a response to someone else’s e-mail. On the phone you have to do it on the fly.
November 8th, 2007 at 4:28 pm[...] Talking on the phone with people I don’t know [...]
October 8th, 2008 at 12:56 pmI hate talking on the phone. It is a major nuisance and interruption of your time and set plans. I no longer have a landline and the answering machine that comes with it. I can’t stand that people call and expect you to drop everything for them. You can never say, “Let me call you back”, they start chattering away about stuff you could care less about. Or even if they do let you off the line, now you have an obligation to call them back.
I wasn’t always this way but I noticed that as I got older and time became more precious, I really resented the phone. I have a few people in my life, they think that just because they call, I HAVE to call them back.
It’s not because I fear silences or having nothing to say. Thank god for texting. It’s straight to the point, you can get your info relayed. But of course, some of the more obnoxious people are still insisting that I call because they can’t get text messages. :(
March 20th, 2010 at 8:23 am