In another lifetime
It was early. Perhaps not “early” for most, but early for me. The air was crisp, cold, and the town was quiet. Undeniably quiet. Eerily quiet. Peacefully quiet. I can look outside my window and see Quadra Island, a place I’ve spend several summers at years ago. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, I can catch sight of the cute little BC Ferry that services the two islands.
For the last couple days I’ve been in Campbell River, a small town off the coast of Vancouver Island. Coming from a city of one million plus, a city of 30,000 is small. Undeniably small. Eerily small. Peacefully small. It’s like an acquired taste, almost. There is something relaxing about it; and yet, I miss home. I miss the noise, the crowds, the traffic, the good, and the bad. Most of all, I miss my bed. And my silky sheets. And speaking French to my dog.
As I walked the streets from my hotel to my work location, I couldn’t help but wonder: What would I have been like if I’d grown up in a small city like Campbell River? Would I have “turned out” differently? Would I have had the same ambitions? What kind of friends would I have had? How would I have been like? What kinds of things would I have enjoyed doing?
It’s such an odd thought, trying to imagine yourself as someone completely different. Every little bit of everything we’ve done, experienced, learned, been taught, been exposed to… all of that makes us who we are today. Change anything, and you wouldn’t be the exactly the same person.
Have you ever thought about this? Say you grew up somewhere completely opposite to where you did: how do you think you’d be different? (Or would you?)
I definitely think that where you grow up is indicative of the person you’ll become as an adult. I spent my childhood in quiet suburbs where it was okay to play in streets and the neighbours were all friendly with each other.
We moved to a dairy farm when I was eight and twelve years later, I still can’t get used to the fact that I’m basically a farmer’s daughter because I’ll always be a ‘burb girl at heart.
My sister, however, has totally embraced the farm lifestyle because she was only four when we made the move. If I had lived on a farm my entire life, things would definitely be a lot different.
November 25th, 2007 at 7:27 pmOh, I think of this often. If my mother’s father had moved to England like he was supposed to, I would’ve spoken with an English accent…
But I wouldn’t have been me.
Even if my parents decided to not uproot our family from lovely old Toronto to this place, I still wouldn’t have been me.
Sometimes I wish things had turned out differently. Maybe, I’d have more confidence, be taller, etc… but I don’t know if I’d really like to be someone else. It could be worse!
November 25th, 2007 at 8:28 pmI have the exact way of thinking like you! Whenever I’m in a place where the situations and way of life are different, I tend to think to myself, what would have happened if I grew up or spent most of my life there and how would I have turned out, would I have been the same person or something like that, or if my experiences would be less or more enlightening than the ones I have now.
I grew up in Jakarta, so whenever I think about what if I grew up in my own country, how would I be? How would I look like? Would I have been thinner or fatter? Hahaha I am blabb-ing!
November 25th, 2007 at 11:59 pmI’ve been wondering about this too, but I’m sure I would be someone else if I had been born somewhere else (thinking of country). I’ve always loved Norway, and I often wondered why I wasn’t born there…but then when I moved here from Argentina, then I realized I wouldn’t have loved it as I love it now. I would have probably been different and less emotional, intense and yeah, Latin.
I don’t think I would have liked it. I am glad I got the mother I got, and the way they raised me. They gave me the values I believe are most important when it comes to interacting with society, and being a productive member of it.
I totally understand where you’re coming from. The question is, no matter how different you might have turned out to be, is would you be satisfied with yourself? And: are you satisfied with yourself the way you are now?
November 26th, 2007 at 3:07 amI’ve always had a fascination with how people “work”. I have read a theory that tapping into our subconscious would reveal many of our thought processes. And as our thought processes will likely effect our actions, it’s extremely important. I always find it hard defining why I had those subconscious thoughts in the first place (you know, even down to the ridiculous ones). Was I born a perfectionist or did my parents influence me? Or was it my environment — the physical one?
I can’t imagine being any different than I am. If I hadn’t moved when I was 8, I think I’d still be painfully shy. Moving when I did meant I had to reestablish myself within a new group of friends; I had to come out of my shell or I’d be friendless. I’m still shy within but any fear of social situations I once had has completely evaporated.
Yet this is who I am now, I can’t imagine myself being any different. And interestingly enough I’ve finally accepted who that person is (which I think is the pain of being an adolescent — far too much self loathing!).
November 26th, 2007 at 11:30 amI think I would definitely be different. Our environment shapes us to such a great extent, any little change — let alone something as big as the place you grow up — could have a huge impact.
I can’t even begin to imagine how different I would have been if my parents had decided to stay in Egypt.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:52 pmI think I’d be a bit different if I grew up anywhere else, because I would’ve known different people. But essentially? I think I was destined to be who I am.
November 27th, 2007 at 8:11 pmYou’re so right! Every circumstance or situation or decision during our lives changes the way things turn out. We’ll never know how these things have shaped our lives for the better or worse. This was a great post!
November 28th, 2007 at 12:36 amI’d be going to a different college, that’s for sure!
November 28th, 2007 at 12:49 pmOh the world of parallel universes and paradoxes! My current belief is that humans are all born the same and molded by their memories, experiences, and environment. I’ve often wondered about how I would have turned out had my mother married a different man! I probably would not have been born (although she firmly believes I was meant th be born). If you take away one small, but important thing like location and replace it with something different, you get a whole other person. If I had been born in the town over from my home town, I would have met different people and had different experiences. Such a small change could drastically effect my viewpoint of the world now and my religious beliefs. Ah, now I’m rambling. Excellent site by the way. It feels as if I’ve been here before, but I think I may have remembered it?
November 29th, 2007 at 2:35 amI often think the same things. When I lived in La Pocatiere, QC, it was my first time in a small town. I mean, I grew up in Vancouver and Calgary, which are pretty big! And La Pocatiere was the same size as my neighbourhood here. It was interesting and I loved it. It kind of made me think I may want to live in a small town… when I’m older, of course, and definitely one within short driving range of a large city!
November 29th, 2007 at 5:17 pm