Now I understand how some americans can think we still live in igloos.
More reasons why I hate Alberta and never wish to go back:
- Sub zero temperatures during the winter months: i.e., spending the greater part of the last 72 hour weekend in -45 degree temperatures with WINDCHILL. Do you know what that means? It means that no matter what you wear and no matter where you are, you’re still cold.
- Bodily complications related with sub zero temperatures: frozen noses after being outside for 10 seconds, fingers that don’t work after 1 minute, frostbitten toes after 10 minutes, death after 20 minutes. Oh, and dare I forget the breathing problem? The air is so cold that my windpipe refuses to let it pass to my lungs: “Hmm, I see that Chanel is unwittingly attempting to kill herself by disguising liquid nitrogen as oxygen and hoping it passes to her lungs. REJECTED.”
- Did you know that salt doesn’t work as a de-icer after a certain temperature? Did you know that there are large metropolitan cities that live below that temperature cut-off for several weeks or months? ME NEITHER. They can call it whatever they want to to fool unwitting tourists, but I’ll tell you how it is: HELL. These places on earth aren’t “great ski locations” with “beautiful powder” or “incredibly scenic” – It’s a ploy the city comes up with to lure people into their death trap. BE YE NOT FOOLED.
- Landscape: It’s flat. And dry. And cold. Yeah sure, blah blah the Rocky Mountains blah blah beautiful, but jagged rocks get really old when you’re freezing to death. And what about those people who live in the city, where there are no mountains or elevated landscape to be seen with the naked eye? Do you know what the sunrise looks like when everything is flat? It looks eerily reminiscent of what I’d imagine sunrises on the North Pole would look like. Which, naturally, scares the shit out of a Westcoast city girl. NORTH POLE MATERIAL, I AM NOT.
Overall, my feelings can be summed up in one conversation I had with a complete stranger in the Women’s washroom at Calgary International:
“You were at the health show, right?”
“Yeah.”
(We exchange a meaningful look)
“I am so glad to get out of here.”
“OH MY GOSH, me too. Where are you from?”
“Vancouver—”
“—Me too!—”
“—Island.”
“Oh. I’m from the mainland – but I can’t wait to get out of this place.”
“I know – I think I’ve had enough cold for a lifetime.”
To any Canadians living anywhere but the lower mainland and Victoria, and to anyone else living in sub zero temperatures:
I’m sorry.
Save up money to migrate somewhere warm next winter?
I would gladly swap places with you right now. Gladly.
You can have all the 30°C weather you like then!
Reply: Awww man, 30°C… That’s perfect summer weather. I’ll take it! One day in -45°C and you’ll want to be back in the 30s pronto.
It’s like that in Norway but we seem to manage quite well. I don’t freeze THAT much…
I can hardly stand temperatures of 30 degrees fahrenheit. Subzero temperature would kill me! Damn freezing cold weather!
Sounds like fun >.
I heard* it’s been pretty cold this winter but I’ve been inside this whole winter because of work (and I park underground) so I’m thankful that I didn’t really have to experience this “brutal” winter… the only thing I hate is when it snows because I work in Burnaby and have to drive up/down that hill on Joyce and also on Boundary/Kingsway everyday when it snows! =(
Damn, makes me rather grateful to live in Australia, even if the equatorial position makes you sweat slightly (profusely…).
You shall not deter me from moving to Canada one day. I shall move, damnit. Just… not to Alberta.
Reply: Come to Vancouver! It’s the best part of Canada. :D
Despite growing up in similar conditions, it doesn’t make it any easier. DUDE, I want OUT. One more year of school and VANCOUVER, HERE I COME.
Reply: Alright! Once you get past the rain (you can learn to love it – I do!), it’s really quite possibly the greatest city in the world. :D At least license plates say so. Mild climate FTW.
And yet, I still want to move to Canada.
Brrrr! I can’t stand temperatures below 5 degrees, let alone in the minuses. Give me 20-22 degrees any day. That said, I’ve always wanted to go to the North or South pole.
I feel for you! It’s actually been a pretty warm winter in Ottawa.
I agree a million percent, the cold just gets to be a serious drag. I’ve been living in the cold long enough. I’m ready to settle down somewhere nice and HOT! (=-
Dude, you were here and you didn’t come hunt me down?! I am heartbroken! Oh my, the weather has been awful. We have a Chinook now, so it’s not too bad. But yeah… I most certainly stayed home when the weather dipped down like that. I definitely miss Vancouver. My parents were looking at houses there this afternoon, though, so there could be hope for a move-back, yet!
I disagree! But then again, I am a geologist.
“Yeah sure, blah blah the Rocky Mountains blah blah beautiful, but jagged rocks get really old when you’re freezing to death”
In my universe, if I had that type of view I either a) would forget how cold I am, or b) freeze to death with a smile on my face.
Oh well. I live in a desert, and it gets HOT, so I welcome the cold anyday. Maybe not THAT cold, but when you’re two steps from a heat stroke in the middle of summer, -45 sounds like paradise.
I find Alberta an OK-ish country when it comes to the Winter/Spring Months. I know it can be cold, if not bloody freezing but I’ve been there a few times now and you get used to it – eventually.
BTW only just found your site, it’s fantastic! Great Job, will deffinalty be coming back.
It’s -7 here tonight.. do I get to complain about the cold too? ;)
Reply: -7?! I feel for you. :( It’s 6°C here during the night… Thank God.
I think that if it’s in the negatives (centigrade), you get automatic entitlement to complain! It’s a payoff of winter. :)
Yet I still want to experience winter. :P It never snows here, so I’m still very curious how it feels. It’s always so hot here. The coldest we’ve gone through is around… 23°C, I think?
My husband is from Alberta. I visited him several times during the cold winter months. We got locked out of the University of Alberta on a particulary bitterly freezing cold day. I thought I would freeze to death. I don’t think I have ever been so cold. I’m from Kentucky, and we do not have winter like that here. Although, we have had lots of ice lately.
Oh my god. I can feel your pain! I’m from Colorado and I went to school in a small mountain town (while I love the Rockies, born and raised, this valley was a bitch to live in come winter time!). The coldest it ever got was -58F while I was there. Everything you described up top came to life in my memory for a split second, adding the fact that your car wouldn’t start for weeks on end. Good thing the “small mountain town” was just that – only a mile radius.
However, it was the best skiing… ever.
PS: I’m Tosha. Found your blog through Katy’s blog!
alberta is beautiful (rockies) the rest of the flatlands are boring. theres nothing better however than skating on a frozen lake! And it is also a Skiiers paradise with crisp champagne powder!
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