20 October 2008
Professions that make bad husbands
Alternatively titled, “Why Chanel could be end up a cynical spinster”.
- Doctor: Big ego, on a power trip, married to work.
- Lawyer: Will argue, likes to be right, married to work.
- Artist: Poor. Crazy. Over-the-top philosophical. Always looking for meaning in things. Will get into “inspirational” moods at any given moment. Work = Life, Life = Work.
- Musician: Poor. Cocky. Wishy-washy. Not too bright. TROUBLE.
- Writer: Poor. Sometimes emo. Possibly intellectual. Works if you’re a writer.
- Pilot: Cocky. Flirty. Girlfriend in every zip code.
- Recording label owner: Used to people falling at his feet. On a power trip.
- Contract killer: Cold. May have trouble expressing how he really feels.
- Psychiatrist: Good communication. Too rational and analytical. Possibly married to work. May assume he “understands” you when he really doesn’t.
- Entrepreneur: Always looking to start something. Next it could be a relationship with another woman, if it isn’t a new business venture with the next Donald Trump. Married to work, or poor and faking it.
- Hairdresser: Constantly surrounded by girls. Forms emotional bonds with girls who tell him their life story. Usually very talkative and outgoing (bad if you’re not).
- Professional Poker Player: Unstable. Gambles. Sleeps around. Will wear sunglasses indoors.
- Computer programmer: More interested in his computer(s) than you.
- Director: Good: Takes charge. Bad: May end up in charge of everything. Also: What happens On Location doesn’t “count”.
- Wal-mart greeter: Not terribly financially stable.
- Investor of any kind (stock market, real estate, etc.): Often very materialistic. Obsessed and/or attached to money. Cocky. Unstable.
- Used car salesman: Greasy hair. Sleezy. May have a lying problem.
- Fashion photographer: Sometimes sleezy. Flirty. Promiscuous. Around too many nearly-naked models. Possibly a modelizer.
- Househusband: Does all the cleaning and cooking. Also does all food shopping. Sleeps with any woman while wife is at work. (Thx, Roro!)
- Politician: Big ego. Likes power/possibly controlling. Never keeps promises. Tends to quit in bad situations. (Thx, Ann!)
- Journalist: Nosey. Can’t keep secrets. Loves to gossip. Never commits to a single relationship. (Thx, Ann!)
- Landscaper: Never totally clean. Bad back/shoulder that requires daily massage. Sees no issue with dancing on ladders with power tools. (Thx, Kaiti!)
- Fitness trainer: Big into being fit; bad if you’re not. Sleeps around with fit women; extra bad if you’re not one of them. (Thx, Joe!)
- Police: Big ego. Always on a power trip. Anxious to pull out the “piece”. Has a stick that gets longer when he whips it out. (Thx, TL!)
- Baker: Creative. Precise. A little too prone to an early death-by-chocolate. (Thx, Lizzy!)
- Chef: Not unless you want to be Mrs. “20-to-lose” for the rest of your life. (Thx, Larissa!)
Anything to add?
If you enjoyed this post, consider giving it a stumble. (Thx, Vered!)
Househusband: Does all the cleaning and cooking. Also does all food shopping. Sleeps with any woman while wife is at work.
Reply: Hahahaha, great one! Added. :)
October 20th, 2008 at 5:38 pmContract killer is my favorite.
Reply: Glad you liked that one. :D I threw it in at last minute.
October 20th, 2008 at 7:51 pmPhew, Cartographer is not listed :) “Girlfriend in every zip code” hehe :D
Reply: I once had a pilot friend who told me that stereotype in the industry himself, so I can’t claim credit for that (but I can say that it’s probably close to the truth for some of them, haha). Also, I’ve never heard of a Cartographer or had any experience with one, so… Not yet! :P
October 20th, 2008 at 11:01 pmnot all computer programmers are like that… especially when my computer is 10 years old
Reply: Of course not. :) Actually, in my experience, computer “geeks” seem to make the best companions, but if I had to pick a stereotype for them that is generally viewed as negative to all women, regardless of personal preferences, the one I listed would be it.
October 20th, 2008 at 11:54 pmI think a more appropriate title should be “Why Chanel could be end up a cynical spinster due to her tendency to stereotype people based on their choice of profession”. :P
Reply: Bwhahaha. All in good fun, all in good fun. ;)
October 21st, 2008 at 1:24 amPolitician: Big ego. Likes power/possibly controlling. Never keeps promises. Tends to quit in bad situations.
Journalist: Nosey. Can’t keep secrets. Loves to gossip. Never commits to a single relationship.
Reply: Hehehe, good ones! Added. :) … In my “research”, I actually came across something interesting – apparently there are women out there who wont date the three Ps – Politicians, Police, and Pilots. Now, if only someone could come up with a good one for police!
October 21st, 2008 at 3:27 amBahaha. This is good.
Landscaper: Never totally clean. Bad back/shoulder that requires daily massage. Sees no issue with dancing on ladders with power tools.
Reply: Say, did Greg happen to dance on a ladder with one or more power tools? :D
October 21st, 2008 at 11:23 amSo true though, especially about the “never totally clean” part. Added!
I married a computer engineer… so far so good. :)
Reply: Awww, that’s good! :)
October 21st, 2008 at 12:36 pmHow about a fitness trainer. They would sleep around with fit women.
October 21st, 2008 at 1:37 pmPolice: Big ego. Always on a power trip. Anxious to pull out the “piece”. Has a stick that gets longer when he whips it out.
October 21st, 2008 at 6:48 pmOmigosh, this is a hilarious list! I’m gonna tweet this. =P
Reply: Hehehe, glad you enjoyed it! :)
October 21st, 2008 at 8:52 pmGreat list. I hate to say it, but the description for lawyer appeals to me. I like arguing; healthy debates are always fun…
October 21st, 2008 at 11:53 pmHow about a Baker? Creative. Precise. I think that would be perfect. On second thought, maybe a little too prone to an early death-by-chocolate?
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:02 amLizzy said something similar, but…chef. You’d put on the pounds way too quickly.
Reply: Oooh, good one. Added. :)
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:37 amI can just imagine all the great food you’d be eating for the rest of your life, though!
You could have just put “don’t marry, stay single, save yourself the hassle” – it would have put the same point across ;)
Reply: But where is the fun in that?! :D
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:01 amhahaha, I love this!
Reply: Glad you enjoyed it! :)
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:41 pmHaha Man O Man this is hilarious. I can’t stop myself laughing * falls back the chair*
well my man is not interested in computer more than me :P
*lucky me*
Reply: I’m glad you found it funny. :) … And lucky you indeed!
October 27th, 2008 at 1:01 pmLOL oh dear! Maybe you need another list of types of men who ARE suitable potential husbands! :D
Reply: You know, I tried that… but after staring at a blank screen for half an hour, I gave up. ;)
October 31st, 2008 at 8:28 pmAnd I quote:
“Journalist: Nosey. Can’t keep secrets. Loves to gossip. Never commits to a single relationship.”
Whoa whoa whoa! I’m a journalist (well, graduating journalism major), and I don’t any of the above! I keep secrets (there’s a reason why they’re secrets), don’t gossip (not into much drama), and I’m very committed to a relationship (although, not in one at the moment).
I guess I’m that diamond in the rough. Haha! XD
This article made my day!
June 17th, 2009 at 2:54 pmthis is a most excellent list; how about: dance teacher? dentist? university professor? musician? high school principal? professional blogger? organic foods farmer? circus clown? TV talk show host? vampire hunter?
actually, organic foods farmer might make the cut
July 14th, 2009 at 10:32 pmGot anything to say about chemists? Curious what kind of wit you might come up with :P
How do you decide what posts go in your “for amusement” slot in the sidebar?
August 17th, 2009 at 10:57 amThis really made me laugh, Chanel! Your comment about pregnancy on Facebook sent me over here out of curiosity.
Why have I not read your blog recently? Your posts have gotten so entertaining! (or perhaps my sense of humor has changed. lol) You should get an internship in journalism.
Reply: Thank you! :) I have thought about that, but I don’t know… I don’t think I’d enjoy studying journalism in school because I generally hate English (hard to believe, considering that I love reading and writing). I have thought about doing freelance writing (editorials, magazine articles, that sort of thing) on the side though… but I think I have a ways to go yet. :)
August 17th, 2009 at 6:16 pmLucky for me, my pilot boyfriend isn’t cocky at all. And as far as I know he doesn’t have any other girlfriends, or I’d kick his ass until he came home with his tail curled up between his legs. lol
I find it hilarious how accurate many of these descriptions are! I could never date a fitness trainer, for all the half naked hot women they interact with daily. And although I find entrepreneurs and business owners highly attractive, the ones I’ve known are generally cocky and think they own the world. I have some close friends who are computer geeks, which can be alot of fun to hang out with. But often when I visit they sit there playing computer games while I watch.
Reply: Computer geeks and gamers are two different groups! You can’t get them mixed up. Although its true some are a bit of both, I’ve found that many *real* computer geeks aren’t really gamers (or they used to be). But like you, I’ve been in that position where you visit and all they do is play computer games for the first 30 minutes, hahaha.
August 17th, 2009 at 6:19 pmWhat do you have to say on ‘Engineer’? I
January 25th, 2010 at 6:27 pm