Put on those high heels, we’re playing grown-up for life
December 29th, 2007If you were (or are) anything like the “average” person, you probably know what it’s like to try being older. When you were 11, you wanted to be 13. When you were 16, you wanted to be 19. When you were 19, you wanted to be 21. And when you were 29?
You wanted to be 25 again. Suddenly, growing up wasn’t so glamourous.
In this day and age, there is such a seductive pull to being older. We want to look older, act older, be treated older and just be older. Years pass, and then something changes - we get older. And then suddenly, being old isn’t what we thought it would be. We want to be young again.
There are bills to pay. There is a job (or two) that demands our time and energy. There are things required of us. There are adult restrictions and responsibilities. When things go bad, we don’t have our parents to hide behind. We’re not children anymore, and more importantly, we’re not teenagers anymore. We’re - finally - the ever elusive “adult”.
And for some, it’s terrifying. But for others, it’s just another step in life.
Why is it that so many of us try so desperately to speed up the life spedometer, only to hit our 30s, slam on the aging brakes, and put the time gear in reverse? Why are so many of us intent on mentally aging ourselves to a certain point, then 360-ing back to the days we lost trying so hard to grow out of?
When I was 13 or 14, I distinctly remember a friend of mine—28 at the time—who pulled me aside and told me to stop “growing up so fast”. He told me I’d regret it someday. Being the know it all I was, I laughed, looked him straight in the eye and said, “When I’m your age, I will never wish I was my age.”
I’m nowhere near 28, but I already see the error of my ways.
Every second is unit of time you’re never going to get back. Every minute, hour, day, week, month, and year is a moment in time you’ll never be able to reclaim or redo. Why spend so much of it trying to alter time itself?
There are pros and cons to every age. I just wish more young people would see this sooner rather than later. While I don’t regret anything, I do sometimes wish I’d spent more time being 11, 13, 16 instead of 13, 16, 19.
Five or fifty, embrace where you are in life. Wrinkles and greying hair are a sign of experience; a lack thereof is an opportunity to eventually gain them and things that accompany them. If you’re old, embrace the fact that everything you’ve been through has led you to where you are today. If you’re young, wait your turn. One day too soon you’ll be the age you thought you’d be so happy with.
See the big picture, but take life one step at a time.
When I was younger (we’re talking under 10s) I didn’t want to be older but somehow I was different from my peers — I had the thirst for knowledge and was reading novels by the time I reached 8. It’s something I feel sad about now because I never really had the most fun childhood — I’d read, read, write a little, draw a little paint a little and occasionally play with my Barbies. :P
We were asked to do an essay on this subject in my English exam and I did something much like this (but far more inarticulate and less clear!). I want to savour the moment and live in the now, lest I get older and wonder where all my life has gone. I’m afraid of growing older and I clutch onto my age with a vice like grip because when it’s not there to hide behind, I’ll have to take responsibility for myself.
There is one good thing though — I can finally wear heels!
December 30th, 2007 at 2:31 amCarpe diem, right?
I’m not guilty of wishing that I was older, but I do wish that I misbehaved more as a child. I was too quiet, too calm, too serious, and too obedient. As a pre-schooler and as an elementary student, I should have thrown paint, walked out line, and talked when I wasn’t supposed to … Oh well.
December 31st, 2007 at 12:08 amReading this makes me happy I never tried to be older than I was. I was proud and glad to be a child or teenager. Hell, I didn’t start wearing make up until I was 18 (if that is relevant, at all). I don’t think I’ve ever had the desire to be older.. or younger. But then again, I’m only 22, and even that hasn’t hit me fully yet.
January 1st, 2008 at 3:11 amYeah, that hit me midway through high school (i.e. a year or two ago), and my brother (21) commented on it, too. I don’t want to think about being totally independent - bills and working and unhappy stuff comes to mind :( Sometimes I wonder if my childhood wasn’t too serious, but I think I had my bit of fun.
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pmAnd of course, I come up with more stuff right after! D:
To continue, the other thing is that I always find myself wishing people around me in school (sometimes my 13 year old brother) were more mature. I guess I should let them have their fun; after all, you can only be a high school freshman once.
I was volunteering in a fourth grade classroom today where the kids were just running wild at recess (in class) and I really wanted to tell them to sit down. Kinda hypocritical, I guess :P
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:35 pmI think that’s an excellent philosophy. I guess we all want what we can’t have. I’m happy where I am at the moment - 18, in between adolescence and adulthood. Old enough to vote and work, and young enough to still have my parents looking out for me.
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:31 pmChanel, You hit the nail right on the head! Few people live in the present. We are either worrying about the future or unable to let go of the past.
Love the way you write ^_-
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:51 pmI’m only 13, so sometimes I wish I had more freedom - some days I can’t wait until I’ll be able to do whatever I want (within certain limits, of course) without anyone stopping me. But I do think that it’s important to make the most of every day, because, as cliche as it may sound, you’ve only got one life. I don’t want to some day think back on my life and realise it’s been wasted by wishing for something I can’t have.
January 4th, 2008 at 11:00 amI’m 17, and I already wish I could be five again. Those were lovely, carefree days.
January 4th, 2008 at 2:09 pmI never wanted to be older until now actually. And not just so because people can think I’m cool or anything, I just hate this “I don’t know who I am” phase in my life. Basically, I want to be rid of adolescence.
I guess really I’d like to be 85. I think old people have this sort of wisdom and just accept what life has to offer them, that’s really what I want, piece of mind… and maybe, a hover round to cruise the streets!
January 4th, 2008 at 3:14 pmMy cousin lies about her age and says she’s 2 years older. I look at her and think she is soooooo going to regret it when she’s 40 and be wanting botox or whatever. Sometimes I think I’m too old but then I’m 17 and I’m losing my youth. I’ve always been quite and I don’t know how to be youthful. When I do act like a kid people often remind me that ‘I should act my age’ since I was 7 people restricted me from playing just because I looked older than 7. It really pissed me off.
January 4th, 2008 at 3:22 pmSometimes I wish I were older, and sometimes, I wish I were younger. Like you said, there are advantages and disadvantages to every age. I want to be older so I can do more stuff, but I want to be younger so I won’t have so much to do. I don’t want to be older because I don’t want all the responsibilities, but I don’t want to be younger either because I don’t have to be that naive anymore. I guess I’ve learned to accept my current age, take life as it comes, and live it as fully as I can.
January 4th, 2008 at 7:10 pmI’d be quite happy to be 18 for the rest of my life. :P
January 5th, 2008 at 9:20 pmWhen I was 15, I kept wishing I was 18. Everything seemed so simple, cool and great. I was wrong. I’m turning 19 soon (about two weeks) and I’m not looking forward to it.
January 7th, 2008 at 6:45 amhey kid…lol… great article!
January 7th, 2008 at 8:56 pmthe challenge is to prepare our youngsters for the real world of adult hood. In order for that to happen though one needs to have a solid foundation which is built during childhood and teenage years. that requires a kid having alot of motivation and mentoring.
thats what im doing with the lil wacko’s (neices and nephews) I try to teach them to be independant, appreciate and enjoy their childhood for all it’s worth, then hit the ground running when it comes time for them to be fully independant. Kids these days with all the technology have unlimited opportunities and we need to help them realize that. We have to make sure they dont get ahead of themselves and mimic pop culture.
It’s sad how most of the time people are not happy with the present moment they are living. When we’re young we want to be old and when we’re old we want to be young. I don’t think we can be entirely pleased.
January 8th, 2008 at 1:51 pmI’m 27, but I look like I’m a good 19. I don’t have any wrinkles. I just went out to dinner on my Mum’s birthday. I ordered a drink. Actually, it was a strawberry (I think) daiquiri. And the waiter goes “oh virgin?” and I say “no, regular”. Hand over the ID, and she goes “bless your soul”. Here, I want to look 27, but the rest of the time I’d rather be older than I appear.
January 9th, 2008 at 10:50 pmHmm, I’ve always been pretty fine with how old I am! Youth/childhood = goood times. I can still get away with playing Pokemon on the train… sooo I’m pretty happy with that ;P.
I don’t really want to grow up, though. Bills, money (I cannot, to save my life, work with money.) and grown-up things (hmm… stuff my parents do) seem kinda scary to me.
January 10th, 2008 at 4:29 pmI just blogged about something similar to this, lol. I think it’s true, what you’re saying.
January 12th, 2008 at 5:29 pmLol, I just posted a comment on someone’s site about something similar to this. When I was in elementry I remember wanting to be like the “older” kids (who were 12, but that was OLD to me at 8 or so). When I got to high school I would envy the girls that seemed to be able to do girly things naturally; which meant make up, dressing up and boys. I, on the other hand, was quiet and spent most of childhood and teenage years reading and doing what people call “good girl things”.
Now that I am out of my teen years, I look at the girls in high school and I feel like saying whats the rush?
I’m still young at 21 and I still haven’t gotten drunk, done illegal substances nor smoked. In some ways I might have missed out in the experimental phase but I just never felt the desire.
Funny though, when I was younger people used to think I looked more mature and now that I am older people say I look younger.
January 13th, 2008 at 1:05 amAnd now I’m scared *cries*
January 13th, 2008 at 2:27 amI honestly think that this is the nature of life. We as human beings strive to achieve what we currently cannot possess; something beyond the horizon of attainable. When we’re young we want to be older, we when are older we want to be young. It doesn’t stop there but continues throughout every aspect of our lives. i.e. We always want to live in location A, when we reside in location B. But after a year of living in location B, we start to miss location A.
It’s human nature I believe to strive for more and it’s very hard to resist the temptation to dream about it, and to speak about it. By the time we overcome the temptation it is either replaced by another or simply the years have gone by and we forgot to live the moment by always trying to attain something we cannot have. At least that is my opinion, my two cents.
January 13th, 2008 at 7:57 amOf course, the obvious answer is: blame the media!
When I was little, I always wanted to be older then I was because I read books and watched TV shows where all these people older then me got to do the “cool” stuff. Then obviously when you get older, growing up isn’t as glamorous as it seems (well maybe ONLY when you turn 21 so you can be legal everywhere in the world). I think it’s worse when kids want to LOOK older but their mentality stays the same.
BUT nowadays I’m happy with my age (although still waiting the 10 months until I turn 21 but that doesn’t count!) because now I gotta start paying my own bills and doing all the “adult” stuff.
January 14th, 2008 at 6:31 amHaha at Katy. But I agree, DO blame the media…for some of it.
January 14th, 2008 at 2:26 pmI mean, we live in a YOUTH OBSESSED CULTURE, where it’s okay to be too skinny but not okay to be a bit chubby…Where people are putting harmful products into their skin to look not that much younger and adults dress in Hello Kitty cutsie clothes and wear kiddie earrings, bright pink etc etc.
I’m not saying it’s bad, but that’s just how life is right now.
Kids want to grow up to party, drink, get wasted, fall in love…and it’s happening before MY very eyes.
For instance, when I was 10 I really wanted to be 16. When I was 16 I’d have a boyfriend, drive a car, party, etc. Now I’m 15 and I want to be 5 again, and be able to not care about college or boys or any of that shit.
When I was 12, life started moving in hyperdrive. I fell in love, started drinking, smoking, etc. When I was 13 that all vanished and I was just 13. Too young to do anything cool, no boyfriend, no parties, not even good grades.
I’ve had all these ups and down because of our culture, the media, etc, and while I don’t regret a thing…I have to admit, it’s sad that no one can slow down to enjoy our rainforests, oceans, etc while we still have them.