Are you…

  • Ugly “Model-like”?
  • Between the ages of 18-30?
  • Shaped like a washboard?
  • Freakishly tall, disturbingly skinny, and boringly bland?
  • Dating someone and willing to compromise the relationship by “accidentally” making a “mistake” with one or more of the hot male models during the episode where the girls get to spend a day with the men who aren’t gay?
  • Impossible to live with, making this show a hit because America loves to watch 13 girls fight over who’s food is who’s and who gets to open TYRAMAIL!!1! ?

Can you…

  • Be bitchy?
  • Act holier-than-thou?
  • Fake a health-related crisis (dehydration, exhaustion, fainting spells, etc.)?
  • Have morals and refuse to do nude shots?
  • Fake a fear of one of the following: Heights, deep water, reptiles, etc.

Do you…

  • Like your hair, so we can cut it all off during the makeovers episode and have you cry over the loss of it for an hour? (Hey, we’ve got to pass the time somehow!)
  • Have a heart-wrenching story that will fool the viewers into thinking YOU should be America’s Next Top Model because you had a Very. Traumatic. Childhood.?
  • Have a tendency to talk back to the judges people who offer criticism of your photos?
  • A poor family back home who is counting on you to win (wink wink, nudge nudge!) so they can make their next meal?
  • Adore Tyra and worship the ground she walks on?

If so, you might have what it takes to be in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model. Auditions for cycle 287 start in two weeks – apply now!

  1. Kaylee on 11-20-2007:

    Lmao. So true… But I can still dream about Canada’s Next Top Model! :P

    7:18 pm
  2. Rilla on 11-20-2007:

    Whoa. We don’t have that! I’d so love to see it. :P

    7:39 pm
  3. Nellie on 11-20-2007:

    Yeah we do, Rilla. It’s usually screened on TV3.

    I hate that show with a burning passion.

    8:00 pm
  4. Xuan on 11-20-2007:

    LOL. *sigh* That show … of course, we get it here in Australia, because Australia IS the next America. Etc. Did you count the amount of ribs you could see in a close-up shot of any of them? … seven … eight … nine …

    9:07 pm
  5. Bobbi-lee on 11-20-2007:

    Haha that is so true and exactly why I don’t watch ANTM

    9:15 pm
  6. Eina on 11-21-2007:

    Lol, I neither watch ANTM nor the Canadian version of it. It’s entertaining at first, but it gets boring in the long run =/

    Reply: True that! The Canadian version of it is also the lamest attempt to “Canadianize” an American TV show, ever. I wish they’d stop pulling lame stunts like that. It makes our country look so pathetic!

    12:31 am
  7. Amber on 11-21-2007:

    It’s all so true! Yet somehow, on a Monday evening, I am always settled down watching America’s Next Top Model. The series have just gotten worse after Cycle 4 though. I am an adoring fan of Tyra Banks. :(

    Reply: Funny you mention that – I was thinking the exact same thing. Cycles 1-4 weren’t nearly as bad as the ones now because they had fresh faces, ideas, drama, etc. I even tunned in occasionally during Cycle 2 and 3, but now? Eek. Can’t stand it!

    12:45 am
  8. Regina on 11-21-2007:

    I only watched the one that CariDee girl won. I only watch it because of the photoshoots and makeover. I must say I do enjoy it quite a tiny bit. *Blushes*

    If you watched the Scandinavian version….oh my. No drama, sweet girls and ugly. They’re so ugly it scares me. But no show beats the Canadian version. Sorry for that, but it sucked big time.

    2:37 am
  9. Rilla on 11-21-2007:

    TV3 Nellie? I’ve gotta check it out. I love dramatic reality shows like girls at the playboy mansion. It’s for a great laugh.

    2:59 am
  10. Lucy on 11-21-2007:

    I watch ANTM for all those reasons! After a long day, it’s so funny to see the way those girls behaves, and I can’t help but keep watching. Each cycle only gets worse, so it’s sure to provide me with some good laughs.

    7:51 am
  11. Rafia on 11-21-2007:

    But the thing is, I will still continue to watch it no matter how absurd it gets.

    And it is pretty absurd.

    I mean fourfour recaps make the show, and I need to continue to watch the show for that!

    Just yesterday I a got a “Rafia, I can’t believe you watch that, it’s so superficial!” People just don’t get it.

    8:49 am
  12. Greg on 11-21-2007:

    Yes, I meet all of those requirements!

    12:29 pm
  13. Nellie on 11-21-2007:

    @Rilla: http://tv3.co.nz/Reality/AmericasNextTopModel/tabid/89/Default.aspx?showid=12914

    And I LOVE Girls of the Playboy Mansion! :)

    1:20 pm
  14. Destiny on 11-21-2007:

    I take it you don’t like the show too much???
    Lol i do love the cat fights though!! ^_^

    2:13 pm
  15. Emily on 11-21-2007:

    I watch it for all those reasons and more. I love how predictable and trashy it is. My favourite thing to do is to see how Tyra manages to increase her presence in each ‘cycle’. They should just get it over with and rename it America’s Next Top TYRA TYRA TYRA I LOVE MYSELF DO YOU LOVE ME TOO? I’d feel like Winston Smith in that house.

    3:12 pm
  16. Rachael on 11-21-2007:

    I love ANTM and have watched it since cycle 1. I like seeing people thrown out, and I like seeing the makeovers, and I like seeing the beautiful photoshoots… And I have the biggest girlcrush on Mr Jay.

    3:40 pm
  17. Jessica on 11-21-2007:

    @ Rilla/Nellie

    Where are you two from? Is this show you are talking about (girls at the playboy mansion) include Hef and his three girlfriends?

    Reply: I believe they’re from New Zealand! I don’t know anything about the show though.

    3:47 pm
  18. Emma on 11-21-2007:

    Like your hair, so we can cut it all off during the makeovers episode and have you cry over the loss of it for an hour? (Hey, we’ve got to pass the time somehow!)

    Oh yes! That is my favorite part!

    5:09 pm
  19. Xuan on 11-21-2007:

    Oooh wait for it … Australia is launching its OWN VERSION! Have no idea when it’s airing, though. *bounce*

    7:11 pm
  20. Rilla on 11-22-2007:

    @Nellie: Thankies!

    @Jessica: Yes NZ. It’s Hef and I think around 10 girlfriends now actually.

    3:10 am
  21. Jessica on 11-22-2007:

    @Rilla:

    Oh ok. Well, we have The Girls Next Door over here and it is only Hef and his three girlfriends. I love the show.

    8:03 pm
  22. Nellie on 11-22-2007:

    @Rilla: It’s still only three. You’re thinking about all of Holly, Bridget and Kendra’s friends. It’s called Girls of the Playboy Mansion over here because there’s already a NZ produced show called Girls Next Door. It’s exactly the same programme, just different titles.

    *stops using Chanel’s comments as a chatroom* :P

    8:54 pm
  23. Wandering Mind on 11-22-2007:

    [...] get the daily dose of The Simpsons, various meaningless soap operas, and now, new on Monday nights, America’s Most Redundant Show. Juggle this fascinating period of procrastination (ah, but procrastination from what, precisely?) [...]

    10:00 pm
  24. Kaiti on 11-22-2007:

    I don’t usually catch ANTM anymore because of work, but I have to say, it’s a pretty great way to escape from reality for an hour. Funny that it’s considered reality TV, because it’s SO far from reality that it’s ridiculous!

    11:14 pm
  25. Renate on 11-25-2007:

    You mean 18-20, right? Because it seems the second the girls are a year or two over 20, they get that “well, you’re pretty, but it’s just that…you’re so old!”

    I’ll admit to watching it though. Both the American and the Norwegian/Scandinavian.

    11:46 am
  26. Kat on 11-27-2007:

    Lol! Love this post :) Reality TV shows like that should be canceled after the fifth season at the very most. ANTM and AI are getting on my nerves. Enough is enough.

    6:17 am
  27. Sebi on 4-27-2009:

    Ahh, i like round 12 of America’s next Topmodel but I don’t like Celia and Allison. In my outlook Celia just looks ugly and Allison is boring. I hope Fo will win. :) Goodbye

    1:39 am
  28. Jackie on 9-6-2009:

    i enjoyed the creative photography, before…havent it watched in a long time

    10:44 pm

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My name is Chanel. This is my experiment in design and writing. You can read more about me here.