Marriage, divorce, and pre-nuptual agreements
November 9th, 2007Imagine you’ve got loads of money—maybe throw in a couple cars, a mansion and worldwide fame. Now imagine you’ve met the one, that special guy or girl. Two years later and you’re engaged. Your family, friends, and even your lawyer are advising you to get a pre-nup. Do you or don’t you? Are the cases where having a pre-nuptual agreement is “the smart thing to do”, or is it always the first step to divorce (i.e. “I’m making you sign this because you might leave, but my money stays with me forever”)?
For me personally, I wouldn’t do it. I’d like to think that my future self will have enough sense to marry someone with the morals, consideration, and basic dencency to take his part and leave me mine (as I would do to him) if our relationship was beyond repair.
In terms of pre-nups in general, I think they can be the smart thing for some people—people who are being married for money, most everyone in Hollywood (where the milk often outlasts the marriage!), people who marry “for fun”, people who don’t think things through…
You might think I’m being satiristic, but think about it: if you ever found yourself rich and ‘one of those people’, you’d want a pre-nup too—after all, the only thing worse than being divorced is being divorced to a ex-husband or wife who’s now rich as a result of it!
On a different-but-related note, I find it ironically hilarious that the women who host The View are all divorced (some more than once). When one of the hosts asked Whoppi Goldberg (actress and co-host) whether she’d gotten a pre-nup, she replied, “Which time?”. America might have laughed in reply, but with a 50/50 statistical chance of your marriage making it or breaking it, marriage and divorce is no laughing matter—especially when children are involved.
I hope that I would get one, no matter what. The thing is, you never know — I’d like to think my future self would have a marriage that wouldn’t end in divorce, but “the one” may change. I think it’s a lot better to be prepared, just in case. I’m sure most people don’t go into marriage anticipating an unhappy ending, but they do occur.
November 9th, 2007 at 3:49 pmI’d get a pre-nup because no matter how sure you are that they’re “the one”, people change.
I’d especially get one if I didn’t have much to my name. Taking half of very little will leave not a lot. :(
November 9th, 2007 at 10:46 pmGrr! You think like me. Or since you did it first, I guess I think like you, lol (similar blog topics).
I would get a prenup.
November 10th, 2007 at 10:12 pmPeople can be very fake. They really can. I think highly of myself, but I don’t underestimate anyone. I’m not going to assume I can’t be fooled.
Especially being wealthy, like in the scenario, I would have to put precautions in place. I’m not a mind reader, or fortune teller, lol.
And if they don’t plan on ever getting a divorce, he/she shouldn’t care about that silly document I want signed anyways :)
As my position stands now (and I mean if I never achieve more than an ordinary job) then I wouldn’t have one. A pre-nuptial contract isn’t second nature over here and I should hope that whomever I marry can be trusted. Now, with that said, if I become a high flyer (that acquires fame or fortune) I’m going to make a smart business move: insure your assets! I don’t want anybody taking a penny if I’ve worked for that money.
Similarly, these women that I see robbing their older men for their money actually make me apoplectic with rage. If they have children it’s another matter — but does their pride not stop them from taking their money? I really don’t know. :P
Reply: They have no shame. None at all! But, you know, women like that can be sniffed out from miles away - I actually tsk the men for being stupid enough to fall for it. If you really pay attention to a person and really get to know them (or at least observe them) in their “natural habitat” (i.e. when they’re most comfortable and *not* trying to impress you), you can spot indicator signs like such at early stages.
Children being involved in all of that is an entirely different matter. It positively disgusts me how adult parents can behave like children.
November 11th, 2007 at 4:06 amI think we’d all like to believe that we’d be sensible enough to marry someone decent, but the reality is different.. how many couples who vowed eternal love for each other end up hating each other, for whatever reason? You never know what might happen in 5 years or 10 years. Of course I wouldn’t marry someone I didn’t trust, but it seems like the reasonable thing to do to protect both your asse(t)s in case things to turn sour. A divorce must be hard enough without having to worry about that kinda stuff.
November 11th, 2007 at 9:12 pmPrenup agreement is great for keeping property separate it is also great for keeping finances separate as well as debts. Another great benefit to having a prenup agreement is so that you can easily keep family heirlooms in the family. If there is something that is highly valuable, it could be lost during a divorce. However, with a prenup agreement the family heirloom is safe.
November 12th, 2007 at 12:29 amI’m an idealist, not a cynic. Thus, I’m conservative when it comes to certain aspects of marriage: I will not sign a pre-nup. Things change; people cheat; people go insane… So I believe in divorce. But signing a pre-nup is just too much. Marriage is an “until death” commitment. It’s about coming together as one, and sharing: what’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is yours. If I don’t trust someone enough to give him my all, to share everything with him, I see little point in marrying him.
November 14th, 2007 at 12:11 amI have a lot to say on marriage and divorce, but I won’t go into my own ramblings here. I’d just like to say that I agree with Chantelle’s last statement:
If you don’t trust someone from the start, what’s the point?
Reply: Pretty much my sentiments exactly.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:25 amI found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!
August 12th, 2008 at 5:37 pm